


Save me, I will rescue you

by trinipedia



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Challenge Response, Fanfiction, M/M, Meanttobe, Slash, Smiwry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-03
Updated: 2009-09-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 18:25:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9197831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trinipedia/pseuds/trinipedia
Summary: Prompt 33. Dangerous LoverNo sooner had Selene Brand cast her love spell than dark, handsome—and freshly stabbed—Cory Forrester fell at her feet. She felt as destined to save this stranger as she was to love him, even if it meant exposing her secret life as a witch. But the injured amnesiac didn't even know his own name, whether Selene was the cause of his injured state—or his salvation.Cory knew only that his attraction to Selene was as unworldly as her unusual pagan rituals…and that with killers now after both of them, they might be dead before nightfall…





	1. I have lived so many lives, though I'm not old

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** not mine in any way, shape or form. Based on A LOT of things, you'll find the complete disclaimers [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9197831/chapters/20867483), so if there's anything you think you recognize, I probably didn't write it.  
>  **Artist Name:** [ burned_phoenix ](http://burned-phoenix.livejournal.com/) [ ART MASTERPOST ](http://burned-phoenix.livejournal.com/99550.html)  
> **Beta:** [ blueeyedliz ](http://blueeyedliz.livejournal.com/)

 

  
_FIRST PART_  
I have lived so many lives, though I'm not old  
  
**Kingdom of Hauptmann Koenig - a long time ago**  
  
Clay always knew there was something special about him.  
  
His mother, who died after giving birth to his baby sister, told him that it was a _gift_ , not a _curse_ , and that he was going to have to hide it from the world only because no-one would understand, not because it was shameful.  
  
Clay believed her and went on with his life trying to keep his profile as low as possible.  
  
He raised his sister and did his best to keep the farm running: his Gift helped his vegetables to be the biggest, his fruits to be the sweetest, his animals to give the most, and for a while the siblings were happy.  
  
Everything was ok, until his 24th birthday.  
  
  
  
Clay was at the town market, selling their cow's milk and their chickens' eggs, as usual, when suddenly a dark shadow loomed over his stand.  
  
He looked up and it was the Captain of the Royal Army standing in front of him, leering.  
  
"Good day, Sir Dugray," Clay muttered, lowering his head in deference.  
  
"Good day to you, peasant," the Captain greeted him, just as he put his gloved hand under Clay's chin, forcing him to look up again. "My, my, where have you been hiding all of this?" He whispered, licking his lips.  
  
Clay swallowed, uncomfortable, and the Captain's fingers touched his bobbing Adam's apple.  
  
"Sir?" He asked, uncertain.  
  
The Captain stepped back, but his eyes were sparkling with heat and desire, and Clay knew he was doomed.  
  
  
  
Clay's nightmare began that day: from that quick meeting onwards, Sir Dugray never stopped chasing him.  
  
The Captain had poets writing odes to his soft hair, his dimpled cheeks, his big hands, his hazel eyes.  
  
Clay simply chuckled nervously and sent the boys home, but they kept coming.  
  
Their words became more heated by the day, and the presents the Captain kept sending him more expensive.  
  
It was obvious what the man was trying to buy.  
  
However, Clay was not keen to sell his virtue: he has grown sure that when the moment came, it would be given to someone he loved with all his heart.  
  
In fact, some part of him thought that his body and soul were not even his to give, because they belonged to his soul mate, the one that was out there somewhere.  
  
Clay never stopped believing that his soul mate would find him someday and kept sending his heart out in search while he sowed the fields, the birds flying around his head singing for him.  
  
  
  
Clay was riding at a crazy speed, with his baby sister tightly holding onto to his back.  
  
The Royal Army was following him closely and he was starting to become afraid that he was not going to make it; then the bridge connecting their kingdom and the next one appeared in front of him, and he incited his horse to go faster, a little faster, because once they'd crossed that bridge they were going to be safe...  
  
But just as they approached it, the King's Infantry came out of hiding, cutting their escape route.  
  
Clay stopped his horse abruptly, while his sister screamed and hid her face against his back.  
  
He took his sword out and swung it menacingly as he saw a couple of knights moving closer.  
  
"Now, now, there's no need to get nasty." Sir Dugray said, stopping his men just by lifting a hand.  
  
While Clay was still trying to assess his chances to break free, a man approached them from behind and snatched his sister away.  
  
"Whitney! Leave her alone, you bastards!" He shouted, watching as the King's men took his sister. Clay turned towards the Captain, tears pooling in his eyes.  
  
The man let out a rehearsed sigh and urged his horse closer to him. "Let us talk in private for a moment," he ordered.  
  
"But, sir! The guy's a warlock! He could-"  
  
"I'm the only one who can establish if he's a warlock or not, and I won't be able to do it while all of you breathe down my neck. Now, step back!" He ordered, glaring at his men.  
  
The men obeyed, murmuring.  
  
Sir Tristan Dugray's grin turned predatory. "Let's talk, peasant," he said.  
  
Clay nodded, dismounting his horse.  
  
"I don't want to hurt you," the Captain started, "let's just say you have something that I _want_." His eyes caressed the guy's torso, his narrowed hips, his crotch.  
  
Clay felt almost naked, even though he was fully clothed and covered himself with his hands. "I don't understand, sir. You could have anyone you want, why me? I'm just a humble farm boy."  
  
The Captain snorted. "Oh, I know and believe me, I've seen how half of the town looks at me. But I've also seen how half of the town looks at _you_ , and I know you have never accepted any of them. That's why I want you. You're a game to me and as you're fully aware, I don't like to lose." His voice grew lower and lower as he talked, and his tone while he spoke the last words was plain dangerous.  
  
Clay shivered. "I'm flattered, sir but I really don't think I'm the right one for you."  
  
Sir Dugray arched an eyebrow. "I don't want to marry you, boy. I just want to have you. I want to enter your body, to feel it open up for me as a flower, to see you keen and beg for me to take you...I want to hear you moan my name."  
  
Clay started shaking his head before the man even ended his sentence. "I can't do it," he said, "I'm sorry, but I can't. I'm saving my body for my true love."  
  
The captain narrowed his eyes. "So this is how it's going to be," he hissed. "Very well. But I warn you: _if I can't have you, no one will_."  
  
He stepped back and shouted out at his men. "The peasant has admitted he has been practicing witchcraft. For his sins, I condemn him to be burned at the stake. _Immediately_."  
  
"No!" Clay saw his baby sister running towards him but a guard stopped her before she could come close enough to touch him. "Whitney!"  
  
A couple of the King's knights grabbed him and tied him to the pile of wood they had assembled.  
  
Sir Dugray walked up until he was standing in front of Clay, a burning bundle of straw in his hand. "Last chance," he whispered.  
  
Clay stared straight into his eyes, defiantly. "Go to Hell," he answered.  
  
The captain grinned. "You first."  
  
And with those words, he let the bundle fall from his hand. It hit the wood which was dry enough to start crackling in an instant.  
  
Clay closed his eyes as soon as they started stinging for the smoke. He coughed, breathing becoming more difficult with every passing second.  
Then, from nowhere, a painful scream.  
  
A voice he somehow recognized started calling his name, suddenly close.  
Clay tried opening his eyes, to see who was that, what was happening, but all he could see was a shadow over him, looming, but no threat was coming from it.  
  
Then it all became too hot and smoky around him and he had to close his eyes again.  
  
When Clay opened them once more, the fire was gone and there was nothing but light around him.  
  
  
  


_TBC..._


	2. The ballroom floor between Heaven and Earth

_SECOND PART  
  
The ballroom floor between Heaven and Earth_  
  
Clay finds himself in the middle of an empty room filled with light and the surprise lasts until he realizes he's _butt naked_.  
  
While he turns around looking for something to put on, someone enters through the door.   
  
"Clay?"  
  
The woman standing in front of him smiles. She looks a lot like-but she can't be-  
  
"...mom?"  
  
The woman nods and Clay all but launches himself at her.  
  
After a long hug, a little bell rings inside Clay's head.  
  
Wait a second.  
  
"Mom, you can't be here! Not for real. You're-"  
  
"... _dead_?" The woman looks amused. "Of course I am, dear. You're dead too. Welcome to Heaven."  
  
Clay's eyes widen. "Wha-no! I'm not-I can't be dead! I haven't-I wasn't-no way." Clay repeatedly opens and closes his mouth: he can't for the life of him remember what happened to him.  
  
His mother shakes her head while offering him a pair of pants. "Be as shocked as you want, baby, but put some clothes on. I can't maintain a conversation with you while _little Clay_ bounces freely."  
  
Clay blushes furiously and gets dressed at the speed of light. "I want to talk to the one in charge. Right now!" He adds, shouting.  
  
The woman grabs his arm. "It's not possible, Clay. His name is Misha, and he doesn't like to talk to newbies. Be patient, everything will be ok."  
  
Clay looks at his mum, remembers how much he has missed her since she left and lets her hug him tight as he cries all his tears for the man he'll never get to be.  
  
  
  
For a moment before he opens his eyes, Clay tries to convince himself that it has all been a dream, that he's not dead, he's not in Heaven and he has not been sleeping his _jet lag_ off in the spare room of his deceased mother's house.  
  
It only works until he does open his eyes and sees the unfamiliar room he's in.  
  
He sighs and stands up, gets dressed with clothes he finds in the closet and goes looking for his mom, hoping to find some answers as well.  
  
His mom is in the kitchen, preparing breakfast as she used to do for him when he was a kid.  
  
"Weird" he mutters. "I can't remember almost anything of my life but I remember perfectly my years with you."  
  
The woman smiles sweetly, while putting a plate of pancakes in front of him. "That's simply because once you're in Heaven you remember your life with the people already here, since those are the only memories you're going to need."  
  
While he stuffs his mouth, Clay nods.  
  
It does make sense.  
  
Remembering what he lost would only make him miss it all more.  
  
"How long did I sleep?" He asks after he finishes his breakfast.  
  
"A few days. You were tired, it's normal."   
  
The woman stands up and starts collecting the dishes.   
  
"What do you want to do today?"  
  
Clay shrugs. "What do you do in Heaven?" He asks back.  
  
"You could go visit some friend of yours."  
  
Clay's face lightens up before he grasps what his mother means. "You're talking about...dead ones."  
  
His mother arches an eyebrow in her best _duh_ expression, then sits back next to Clay, taking his hands in hers. "Listen to me, Clay. You're here to stay so it's better for you to start accepting that. Now, go look for your friends, you simply have to think about them and you'll teleport yourself to wherever they are. Why don't you try? Itﾒs not hard."  
  
Clay, who feels his eyes suspiciously wet, doesn't think twice about it and, in the blink of an eye, he's gone.  
  
His mother, suddenly alone in the kitchen, stares at the empty space her son had been standing in a few seconds ago, before sighing and going back to her chores.  
  
  
  
The party is in full gear.  
  
Someone is talking, someone else is getting drinks.  
  
A slow, enticing music accompanies it all: it comes from a piano, which is in the opposite corner.  
  
Suddenly, Clay stumbles into the room, appearing near a vase that crashes on the floor, breaking in a million pieces.  
  
The music stops and everyone turns towards Clay. "I'm so sorry!" he exclaims, kneeling on the floor to gather the pieces, but just as he is about to pick a piece up they disappear.  
  
"It's ok, son" a bearded man says, patting his shoulder. "Stand up. We're in Heaven, there's no need to worry about this stuff. Welcome to my house!"  
  
Clay stands back up, still a little flushed. "Hi, I'm Clay. I'm a new arrival and I was looking for Charlie Baker. Is he here?"  
  
The man thinks for a second. "I'm afraid he's not. You got the wrong place."  
  
Clay's shoulders sag.  
  
"Dad, I could go with him, if that's ok with you all?" A voice says.  
  
Clay looks up and his eyes stop on the person walking towards him.  
  
He should be a guy, or so he thinks: it's difficult to truly see him because of the halo of light around him.  
  
Once he gets close enough, though, Clay can confirm that yes, he's a guy.  
The most beautiful guy he has ever seen. He doesn't look human, actually.  
  
"Hi" the vision says, offering his hand to shake. "I'm Tom."  
  
Clay takes Tom's hand and some kind of electricity runs through his whole body.  
  
Tom's green eyes show surprise: he felt it too, then.  
  
The bearded man, Tom's father, apparently, gives them his permission, and both guys leave the party.  
  
Instead of teleporting again, Tom starts walking and Clay finds that he doesn't mind.  
  
"I'm sorry I wasn't able to just point you in the right direction" Tom says. "I arrived a few days ago myself, but since my whole family has been here for years I got acclimated quickly."  
  
Clay stares at Tom's profile. "All your family?"  
  
Tom nods, a little sadness in his eyes that's gone in an instant. "The house burned down. I survived only because I wasn't there, that night. I was crossing the county to go to the market, I had to try to sell our goat to pay for the land."  
  
Clay smiles sympathetically. "My mom died giving birth to my little sister, and she's the only family I ever had. I was 14 when she left, I had to keep going on my own, for both me and Whitney."  
  
Tom squeezes Clay's shoulder, and they keep walking for a few minutes without talking.  
  
The silence doesn't bother them, though: it's comforting, like they understand each other and they don't need words.  
  
They have been walking in the country, when suddenly a brick road appears under their feet.  
Clay looks at Tom, surprised, and Tom smiles.  
  
"In Heaven everything you can imagine exists, you know. And everything that's in Heaven sooner or later finds its way back to Earth."  
  
"Even us?" Clay asks.  
  
Tom chuckles. "Yeah, even us. Eventually."  
  
Finally they find themselves standing outside of a tall building. "Your friend's here." Tom says. "I should go, you'll have a lot of things to talk about."  
  
"Wait" Clay blurts out. He doesn't know what to say, but he knows he wants to stop Tom, he wants to talk to him some more, look at his smile.  
He doesn't know how.  
  
 _I know._  
  
Clay blinks, surprised.  
  
Tom hasn't opened his mouth, but Clay heard his voice loud and clear in his head.  
  
 _I like you, too._  
  
Clay doesn't have the time to ask Tom how he did that because the guy vanishes and he's left with a stupidly wide grin in front of the building his childhood friend works.  
  
He would like to brush it off, knowing that Charlie will make fun of him to no end if he sees it, but he's unable to.  
  
  
  
"What do you mean _he's gone back_?"  
  
The receptionist looks at Clay with a friendly smile. "What I said. Charlie has gone back. To Earth."  
  
Clay stares at the guy like he has suddenly grown two heads. Of course! Tom did say that eventually people go back to Earth too, but...  
  
"How long does it take before we're allowed to go back?" He asks then, hope burning in his eyes.  
  
The receptionist shrugs. "It's different for everyone, man. Some only stay a few hours, some need hundreds of years before they can go back. So I couldn't tell you. Why would you want to go back, anyway?"  
  
Clay is about to answer, then Tom's green eyes pop into his mind and he can't help asking himself the same question.  
  
  
  
After talking to the receptionist for a little while longer (nice guy, that one, maybe they'll go drink a beer and shoot some pool together sometime) Clay leaves the building and the first thing he wants to do is talk to Tom.  
  
He focuses on his face, as his mother told him to, and in a second he finds himself in a garden.  
  
Tom is there, smiling at him.   
  
"Did you do this?"  
  
Tom nods. "As I told you, in Heaven you can imagine everything you want."  
  
They walk around and Clay is in awe at how beautiful the garden is.  
He tells Tom so and the boy blushes. He's stunning and Clay's dying to take his hand. He even starts extending his arm, but then he's ashamed of his own thoughts and recalls it, putting it behind his back.  
  
Clay tries to distract himself talking. "So, imagining, huh? What would happen if I-" He bites his lower lip.  
  
Tom is looking intently at him.  
  
"What would happen if I imagined something bad?"  
  
Tom laughs. "You can't! Clay, you're in Heaven. You can't possibly imagine anything bad."  
  
"Because if I could, I wouldn't be here but somewhere else, right?" Clay asks, and Tom doesn't answer.  
  
 _Stupid, stupid, stupid. What the Hell were you thinking?!_ Clay shouts at himself.  
  
Tom can say anything he wants, but wanting him so much must be a bad thing.  
  
Leviticus, and all that jazz.  
  
"I have to go, now" Tom says.   
  
"Talk to you soon."  
  
Clay nods and as Tom vanishes he stares at the water of a small lake in front of him. A tiny sound alerts him that someone's approaching: he turns, and there's a man in a brown trench coat staring back at him.  
  
He has short, spiky hair and eyes as blue as the sky over their heads.  
Clay doesn't need for him to introduce himself. "Misha."  
  
The man nods in recognition. "Hi, Clay. You have been here for a while now. Do you have any questions?"  
  
Clay snorts. "Nice for you to come by once I have already freaked out, got lost and cried my eyes out."  
  
Misha shrugs. "Those are steps you have to take on your own. No one can help you with them."  
  
"Tom did" Clay retorts, and he's surprised by how Misha's eyes soften.  
  
"Tom is...special. Don't you think?"  
  
Clay feels his cheeks burn, and hopes with all his might that he's not blushing. "Yeah, he is," he answers. _He's the most amazing person I've ever met, and I want him for keeps_ , he thinks, but he knows better than to voice the thought.  
  
"Are you God?" He asks instead.  
  
Misha blinks, then shakes his head. "Nah, I'm just the...supervisor. There is a God, though. Looking over you."  
  
A part of Clay feels relieved knowing that he's never alone, but another part of him is scared shitless of what God must be thinking of him, sinning in his own house.  
  
Misha vanishes without saying goodbye, and Clay's happy about it.  
  
  
  
Clay's lying in his bed, awake. His mind's full of images of Tom. Then he can't stand it anymore and he decides to try.  
  
 _Tom?_ He calls out. _Tom?_  
  
 _Hey,_ Tom answers. _I was starting to wonder if you were going to call._  
  
 _Well, sorry if I'm not used to mind talking, oh mighty Yoda,_ Clay says, snickering.  
  
Tom laughs. _What's on your mind?_  
  
 _You_ it's the answer, and Clay's not even sure the thought got to Tom, until he hears him sighing.   
  
_Really? That's nice._  
  
 _I keep thinking about you, I can't stop. I just wanted to let you know._  
  
 _Well now you did_ , Tom says. _Bye._  
  
 _No, wait!_ Clay begs. _One more thing._  
  
 _I'm listening._  
  
 _I-I think I'm in love with you._ Clay holds his breath, but Tom doesn't answer. After a whole minute, he starts to panic. _Listen, you told me that I can't imagine anything bad; so me thinking of you and wanting you can't be bad, right? What do you think?_  
  
A few more moments of silence, then-  
  
 _I think we oughta see a lot more of each other. Starting now. Follow me._  
  
Clay doesn't even lose time answering: he closes his eyes and thinks of Tom.  
  
  
  
When he opens them, they're on the side of the lake again.  
  
Tom grabs Clay's hand with shaking fingers and kisses the back of it.  
Clay caresses Tom's cheek, incredulous, then gets impossibly closer and kisses Tom's neck, softly.  
  
Tom lets out a breathy moan. "Did you ever make love? When you were alive?" He whispers.  
  
"No" Clay answers honestly. "Have you?" He asks back.  
  
"No" Tom says.  
  
They rest against each other, trembling slightly in the night breeze, simply enjoying the closeness, when suddenly Tom speaks again. "Would you make love to me?" He asks, his voice tiny and scared.  
  
Clay lifts his chin and lets him see the answer in his eyes, before nodding.  
  
Tom beams and launches himself at him, hugging him as tight as he can manage. "I'm glad you died," he says, and when Clay answers, for the first time he's at peace with his destiny.  
  
"So am I."  
  
The sunrise comes, and Clay can't recall a moment as perfect as this.  
Sitting there, with his arms full of Tom, simply... _being_.  
  
  
  
Clay gets home when it's morning already, whistling; he goes straight to his mum and kisses her soundly on her cheek.  
  
The woman giggles. "Oh, and who's in a good mood today?" She asks playfully.  
  
Clay smiles widely at her, while he drinks the milk straight from the bottle.  
  
The woman would like to scowl him, but she doesn't have the heart to.   
He looks so happy.  
  
Her heart clenches a little.  
  
"I think I'm going to start looking for a place on my own" Clay states, and she nods, trying to make her worries disappear before he can see them on her face.   
  
"Sounds great, baby," she answers.   
  
Clay grabs a bagel from the table, kisses her again and leaves one more, bouncing.   
  
The woman sighs, and when she turns around she's not surprised to see Misha sitting at her kitchen table.   
  
"Are you sure this is the only way?" She asks, hoping for another solution.   
  
Misha crosses his arms and nods. "Yes, it is."   
  
  
  
Clay paces nervously.   
  
Tom was supposed to meet him in front of Charlie's workplace, but he's not arrived yet.   
  
_Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he has thought about it and realized he doesn't really want me. Maybe he has decided I'm not worth it. Or maybe-_   
  
"Clay!"   
  
_-Maybe I'm just insanely paranoid._   
  
Tom is running towards him from the top of the road.   
  
He's wearing a cowboy hat that he has to keep in place with a hand and he's so fast it looks like he's flying.   
  
As soon as Clay has Tom in his arms he lifts him up and twirls him around.   
  
They lose their balance and fall messily on the floor, laughing like two teenagers, Tom on top of Clay.   
  
The laughter dies and Tom leans in to kiss him, but Clay stops him with two fingers on Tom's plump lips.   
  
"I would like to get married," he says. Tom's eyes sparkle.   
  
"According to Heaven, we already are," he answers, starting to lean in once more, but Clay stops him again.   
  
"Really?" He asks, in awe. "Well, then would you mind too much if we had a wedding before doing...anything? I'd like to kiss you for the first time once you're my husband."   
  
Tom sits back, blushing furiously.   
  
"Will we stand in front of a bunch of people and you'll say you love me and I'll say I love you and then we'll have to dance?" He says, shyly. "I can't dance."   
  
Clay smiles sweetly at him. "I can teach you."   
  
Tom lets out a nervous laughter. "I'd be scared out of my mind," he admits. Clay's shoulders sag.   
  
"So...does this mean you don't want to?" He asks tentatively. Tom stares at him for a moment.   
  
His cheeks are still purple, but when he grabs Clay's hands there's nothing but resolution and love in his eyes.   
  
"Of course I want to."   
  
The hug Clay wraps him in as soon as he's done talking could have probably shaken a few ribs if they hadn't already been-you know.   
  
  
  
Everything happened so fast.   
  
Only a mere moment before Clay was putting his jacket on, his mom next to him with her eyes shining with tears of pride and love and Tom was on the other side of the room, surrounded by all his family, while he tried to pin a white rose to the lapel of his tuxedo.   
  
Then suddenly the halo of light that always surrounded Tom became more intense.   
  
Tom's eyes widened in fear and he looked at Clay, mouthing _I love you_ before the light engulfed him.   
  
  
  
"Misha!" Clay walks aimlessly, calling for the only person who could tell him what had happened to Tom.   
  
"I need to talk to you! I know you can hear me! _Don't block me out, Misha!_ "   
  
"Oh, will you quit the whining already." Clay turns abruptly and Misha's there, shaking his head.   
  
"This is how the things work out in Heaven, Clay. It happens to everybody, it will even happen to you someday."   
  
Clay's eyes fill with tears. "Why does it have to be him? Why does it have to be _now_?"   
  
"Tom's not dead, he's simply _born_. It's what he wanted, it's what _you_ wanted, so why all the fuss now?"   
  
Clay stares at him in disbelief. Does he really _not_ understand? How is it possible?   
  
"Is he a boy or a girl?" Clay asks.   
  
"The answer is no, Clay."   
  
"You can. I know you can."   
  
"The answer is still no. I can't."   
  
"I'm not asking you to put me next door to him, just put me in the same country and I'll find him."   
  
Clay doesn't care about his dignity. He will go down on his knees if it means Misha will listen to him.   
  
Misha looks at him with something akin to pity.   
  
"You fell in love in Heaven. If you fall in love again on Earth, you will be allowed to be together forever."   
  
"When will that happen?" Clay asks, hope blossoming in his chest.   
  
"How would I know?" Misha snaps at him. "Or you can stay here, and if you wait one or two hundred years you will love again. I can promise you that."   
  
Clay violently shakes his head.   
  
"I don't want to love again! Listen, I don't care if I'm going to be a boy or a girl. I don't care if we'll be together as lovers, as brothers, as friends: I just need him in my life! He's my soul mate, I've waited all my life for him. Please?"  
  
Misha sighs. "If I let you go, there is no guarantee that you'll come back here. It will depend on the choices you'll make. Do you understand that?"   
  
"Yes, I do. But if I believe I can find him, I will" Clay answers, so sure of his feelings that nothing Misha can say will change his mind.  
  
Misha nods, once. "Alright. I'll give you 25 years, that's all I can give you. The best I can do. If you don't find him in 25 years, you'll both marry other people but never be completely happy. If you don't find him in 25 years, you'll have lost him forever."   
  
Clay's smile could lighten up a whole city. "I'll find him, Misha. I'll find him. You'll see."  
  
Misha shrugs. "Good luck, kid," he mutters.  
  
Only once Clay has turned his back to him he allows an equally bright smile to appear on his usually serious face. Maybe this time it will work. Maybe this time they will really be ok.  
  
  
  


_TBC..._


	3. I still wish on the stars as they fall from above

_THIRD PART  
I still wish on the stars as they fall from above_  
  
 **4th of July 1996**  
  
"Jared...Jared, baby, don't cry. Please."  
  
"Is Daddy gonna come back?"  
  
"No, sweetie, he is not."  
  
"He hates me. He hates me, like all the other kids at school do."  
  
"Come on, Jared, they don't hate you. You just make them...a little _nervous_."  
  
Jared looked up, sniffing noisily. "They blame me, us, for everything that goes wrong."  
  
"Well, it's easier to blame someone else than admit you were the one that made a mistake, don't you think?"  
  
"But I am _weird_. I am _different_. They are right."  
  
"No, baby, they're not! You're not weird. You just have a Gift. Just as your grandma had, and her grandma before her and so on. It usually skips a generation."  
  
"So is that why Daddy left? Some kind of curse? Did we have to give him up in exchange for my Gift?"  
  
"Oh, no, this has nothing to do with you." Sherri sighed. As she had just explained, it's never easy to admit you were wrong. "It was _me_ , sweetheart. I picked the wrong man. I knew he was not my soulmate, I knew that it was bound to end badly and still I settled, because it was easier than to live alone every day of my life knowing I would never have the only thing my heart desired."  
  
Jared's eyes, filled with tears, turned towards her, and the woman knew instantly what he was thinking. "But with the sour came the sweet: I got you from him, and I'll always be grateful for that." She hugged him. "And no matter what he's going to tell you, you were not an accident. It was fate that brought you here, the same fate that passed the Gift to you instead of Megan."  
  
Jared was slowly calming down, and Sherri kissed his forehead. "Now, let's go inside and practice a little, shall we? Make me jealous."  
  
"What about my homework?" Jared objected.  
  
The woman hid a grin. Her son was too serious for his age. "Don't be silly, Jared! Your parents just split up, you're excused for at least a week. Come on!"  
  
Jared loved his mom.  
  
  
  
Jared was awakened by the voices of his mama and grandma talking. "I miss him so much. I can't think about anything else, I can't even sleep."  
His mama was crying, and Jared's little chest clenched at the sound, while he silently went down the stairs to see what was going on.  
  
"How could I do it to myself? You warned me! You told me I shouldn't marry him. What am I supposed to do now, that I'm unable to live alone?"  
  
Grandma tried to soothe her, caressing her hair, just as his mama always did with him. "Perhaps now you can finally find the right one?" She said, but Sherri shook her head.  
  
"It's too late for me. Besides, I have to think about Jared: he's my priority now."  
  
Jared had heard enough.  
  
He stepped back into his room and waited for both his mama and his grandma to go to sleep; once he knew it was safe, he stood up and took his jacket from behind the door.  
  
Megan heard the noise and sat up in her bed. "What are you doing?" She asked in a sleepy voice, rubbing her eyes.  
  
"I'm going to summon up a true love spell, called _Alma Veritas._ " He answered, going to the garden, through the back door.   
  
Megan ran after him, with all the speed her little 6 year old feet allowed her. Jared started to waltz around the garden, picking up herbs while he chanted the spell.  
  
" _My soulmate will want me so much they won't be able to stand it.  
My soulmate will hear my call a mile away, whistle my favourite song, ride a pony backwards, flip pancakes in the air_." He smiled at Megan. " _My soulmate will be marvellously kind, and their favourite shape will be a star_."  
  
After collecting rosemary, lilacs, lavender and white rose petals, Jared stopped in front of the giant maple tree in the center of the garden.  
He caressed the trunk and then plucked a single maple leaf that he threw in the basket with the others.  
  
"And finally, _my soulmate will have the greenest eyes in the world_."  
  
Megan walked up to him, looked inside the basket and then wrinkled her little nose.  
  
"But Jay, a person like that doesn't exist," she protested, and Jared grinned.  
  
"That's the point. _If_ my soulmate exists, they will find me and we'll be happy forever, if they don't no one will ever break my heart."  
  
"Be careful what you wish for," Megan whispered, while they both looked at the leaves and petals that a magic wind was dispersing in the sky.  
  
Jared stared at the remains of his spell, then sighed and went to sleep at peace as he hadn't done for a long time.  
  
He was going to turn 12 in a couple of weeks, and the maple leaf gave him three more years to grow up and become a man his soulmate would be proud of.  
  
He was going to have to work hard on himself.  
  
And if that gave him something else to focus on instead of missing his dad, well, all better.  
  
  
  
 _If Jared had looked more closely at the leaf he plucked from the tree, he would have noticed that by chance he plucked the only_ **13-leaved** leaf.  
  
The spell talked about a maple leaf because the usual leaf had **3** leaves, and each of them represented one year of waiting for the soulmate to manifest itself.  
  
Using the wrong leaf, with more leaves, caused little Jared to wait fruitless for years, without a sign from his supposed soulmate.  
  
Disappointed and hopeless, Jared started to keep his distance from that **gift** that had hurt him so much, and, growing up, he almost forgot he even had it.  
  
He kept throwing spilled salt over his left shoulder, and he kept planting lavender for good luck, but all reminiscences of the true love spell he had cast when he was a snotty kid were gone.  
  
And here, a couple of weeks before his **25th** birthday, is where we meet him again.  
  
  
  


_TBC..._


	4. You turn a little into stone with every day you live alone

_FOURTH PART  
You turn a little into stone with every day you live alone_  
  
 **4th of July 2009**  
  
"Of _course_ , Mrs. Graf, we can find a mini brick cottage to put next to your bed for your cat to sleep in." Jared stops walking to pinch his nose. "However, I have to tell you that purple is not really a good colour for the walls of a room that receives no natural light. Yes, I know it's your husband's favourite colour, but still-fine, sure. Call me back later."  
  
 _It's not like today was a national holiday, after all_ he thinks bitterly while ending the call.  
  
Jared loves his job, really, he does: he has a natural inclination for connecting people to their houses, like a sixth sense of sorts, and it's not hard for him to determine the structure of a space, the needs of the occupants and the style that best suits both.  
  
His mom keeps telling him it's not a real job, but Jared doesn't agree: just because he doesn't sit in a cubicle 8 hours a day 5 days a week, doesn't mean his job is less worthy than, let's say, a law firm.  
  
His company, B&T Interior Design, has a solid client base and multiple designers, which get hired one by one from the aforementioned clients: of course, this means that if no client asks for Jared, Jared won't eat, but thankfully it never happens.  
  
Jared has been working for them during the last two and a half years, and has never been happier.  
  
Sometimes, like today, he hates his job though: there are people like Mrs. Graf that don't understand what _redesigning_ means, and keep coming to Jared every few months to ask him how should they get their house ready for the next season.  
  
Jared still has nightmares about Mrs. Tingle's _Christmas decorations_.  
  
Usually, he would simply shrug and think that yeah, if they can pay it, they can have it, but lately he has gotten jumpy and nervous; his sister is worried about him.  
  
Because yeah, the 25th birthday is an important goal, but it's not so important that he should lose his sleep or appetite. Besides, the date is gonna come regardless, it's not like he can stop it.  
  
To stop worrying, Jared turns on his iPod.  
  
 _Do you believe in the day that you were born? Tell me, do you believe? And do you know that every day's the first of the rest of your life? This is to one last day in the shadows and to know a brother's love; this is to New York City angels and the rivers of our blood.  
This is to all of us..._  
  
The song washes over him, calming him down instantly, as usual.  
He doesn't know how or why but it never fails.   
It's like the song's talking to him, to some part of him he usually doesn't consider all that much, that part of him that he doesn't even remember, the absence of which makes him feel incomplete.  
  
Jared closes his eyes for a split second, breathing deeply the scent of the grass after a rainstorm: his spirit expands and soars, and he feels at peace with the world and with himself.  
  
The peace doesn't last, though, because suddenly he hears a scream and then a loud _thud_ , followed by angry car horns, exclamations and swearing.  
  
When he succeeds in shaking himself out of his reverie, he sees a guy lying on the stairs in front of his building, his white shirt stained with blood and his neck bent at a weird angle.  
  
The driver who just ran over the guy is getting out of his car, tearing frantically at his hair.   
  
"He jumped in front of my car, I swear!" He shrieks, hysterically, "I couldn't possibly have stopped! Oh God, he's dead, isn't he? Oh God, _I killed a man!!_ "  
  
He's pacing next to the car, kicking alternatively at the wheel and the fender, while he keeps on muttering to himself.  
  
People are assembling around the poor guy on the floor and Jared has to fight his way to the front of the building. As soon as he's there he can't move another step.   
  
The guy is young, maybe not even thirty yet and is dressed sharply.  
  
And he's dying.  
  
Jared can hear his heartbeat slow down and without even thinking about it he kneels next to the guy and takes him in his arms.  
  
As soon as his hand cups the guy's cheek, a jolt of electricity runs through him, like a full body shiver and the heartbeat becomes stronger.  
  
Jared's other hand goes to the guy's neck to check for his spine, and the same electricity connects them: Jared can _feel_ the bones moving and crackling as they shift back to their usual positions and he sees through the tears in the guy's shirt as his bleeding wounds close on their own.  
  
 _They won't even scar, probably_ he thinks to himself, confused and terrified by what's happening.  
  
Then the guy moans, his eyes flicker and Jared suddenly realizes that if someone gets too close to them, they'll see that something's not right.  
  
He can't risk it, so he sweeps the guy into his arms with apparently no effort.  
  
"He's fine," he says, his voice a little shrill and louder than normal, so that all the people around hear him. "I'm taking him home and then I'll get our family doctor to come and see him. He-he doesn't like hospitals. Or people. Or cars. So. Yeah. Thank you!" The he charges through the gate, and doesn't stop until they're in the elevator.  
  
Only then he remembers he's carrying an unconscious guy in his arms and looks down.  
  
He's squirming but he looks still out of it, thanks to God.  
  
Jared closes the door behind him and all but throws the guy on his comfortable couch (he's a sasquatch, all of his furniture has been chosen taking this detail into account) before grabbing the phone and calling the only person who can shed some light on the recent occurrences.  
  
  
  
The phone rings once, twice.  
  
 _Come on, come on, pick it up!_  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Grandma?"  
  
"Jay! Is that you? What's wrong?"  
  
Damn his grandma and her sensitivity. Jared doesn't even try to deny it.  
"Something weird happen today, Grandma, and I'm not sure if-I mean, I don't know what-"  
  
A chuckle comes from the other side of the phone. "Oh, finally! I was starting to wonder how long you were going to be able to ignore it."  
  
"Ignore _what_?"  
  
"Your Gift, Jared, what else? Come on, you're smarter than that. You couldn't possibly think that it would just go away."  
  
Jared doesn't answer. He did thought it would, actually. In fact, growing up he thought it all had been a child's fantasy, that his mom and grandma indulged for his sake.  
  
"We would have never seconded you if it hadn't been real."  
  
"How did you know I was thinking-nevermind. Listen, that's how it went down."  
  
  
  
"...I see. Well, the Gift decided to come back with a bang, didn't it?"  
  
Jared rolls his eyes. "Now's not the time for joking, Grandma! I have the guy passed out in my living room, without a scratch, with his clothes bloody and torn up. What am I supposed to tell him?"  
  
He can feel his grandma smile all the way from San Antonio. "Go talk to him," she says.  
"Maybe he won't believe you at first, but if he doesn't, you just pick a dying flower or a rotten fruit up and show him how they come back to life in your hands. He'll have to believe you then."  
  
Jared isn't sure it's going to be quite this easy, but he does feel a little better now that he knows he's not going mad. "Ok, Grandma, I'll do as you suggest."  
  
"Jay?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Why did you rejected your Gift? You used to love it so much..."  
  
Jared frowns, trying to remember. "I don't know, actually," he answers, honestly. "I think it had something to do with a spell gone wrong."  
  
"Oh, Jay! You should know by now that a failure doesn't justify giving up! I wonder-"  
  
Some rustling sounds from the living room catch Jared's attention and he interrupts his grandma's musings.  
  
"I have to go, the guy's awake! Wish me luck..."  
  
He hangs up the phone before he can hear his grandma answering, _you don't need it_.  
  
  
  
Jared swallows noisily entering the living room, where the guy is slowly sitting up, rubbing at his eyes like a five-years-old.  
  
He blinks a couple of times and then, as he takes in his surroundings, his eyes widen progressively until they look like fried eggs.  
  
Jared stares as the guy wraps his arms around himself, shivering, and then curls his legs under his body, trying to make himself as small as possible.  
  
 _He's afraid,_ Jared thinks, and who can blame him?  
  
Hence the decision of entering the guy's personal space as silently and unthreateningly as possible to avoid scaring him further.  
  
Obviously, as soon as he steps in the living room, he trips on the carpet and falls down, bringing a crystal vase down with him that breaks in a million pieces on the floor.  
  
 _Deja-vu,_ is all Jared manages to think before the guy starts to scream.  
  
Time passes nerve-rackingly slow, Jared still on the floor, his hands pressed against his ears, trying to avoid his eardrums bursting.  
  
Finally the guy coughs slightly and puts a hand around his throat.  
  
Figuring this could be a moment as good as any other, Jared slowly stands up.  
  
"Do you maybe want some water?" He asks, lifting his hands in a less threatening way as possible.  
  
The guy gawks at Jared, like he's seeing him for the first time, and while he goes to the kitchen to retrieve the water Jared realizes that maybe he isn't the cause of the guy's fear. Maybe what scared the guy was the noise, not _him_.  
  
Relieved, Jared goes back to the living room and offers the glass to the guy, sitting on the armchair instead of the couch, to give his guest more space.  
  
The guy nods, as if he's thanking Jared for it.  
  
Jared waits for the guy to finish drinking before speaking again. "So."  
  
The guy arches an eyebrow.  
  
Maybe he's a foreigner.  
  
After all he's blonde, has light coloured eyes and what looks like freckles on his nose.  
  
"Er, _¿Habla Inglés? Parlez-vouz Englais? Spricht Englisch? Fala-_ "  
  
"Oh, for fuck's sake, of course I speak English! Do I look _Portuguese_ to you?! Show off," the guy snaps at Jared, glaring at him.  
  
"Sorry," Jared mumbles.  
  
"So-"  
  
"So, who the _fuck_ are you?" The guy asks, interrupting him.  
  
"That's exactly what I wanted to ask you, actually." Jared answers, trying to keep his cool. "I'm Jared, anyway. Jared Padalecki, I live here."  
  
The guy blinks. " _Here_ being..."   
  
"Er. New York? Next to Central Park?"  
  
The guy pushes the heels of his hands against his forehead. "Fuck," he mutters.  
  
Jared throws all caution out of the window and gets closer. The guy looks to be in pain. "What's wrong?"  
  
"I don't remember," is the answer.  
  
Jared is taken aback. "The accident? It's normal, the shock and all that-"  
  
"No, not that! What, I had an accident on top of everything? Dammit!"  
Jared probably looks a little scared, because the guy sighs and tries to calm down. "I don't remember _anything_ , Jared. Anything at all. I don't remember my name, where I live, what I do. I don't know who I am."  
The guy looks at his clothes. "I'm probably a homeless guy, I had too many drinks and ended up in an accident," he concludes.  
  
Jared shakes his head. "No way, man. Your clothes are way too... _hip_ for you to be a homeless. Check your pockets, maybe there's something there."  
  
The guy nods once, in agreement, then proceeds to check his shirt and pants pockets. The only thing he finds is a white plastic tag, shaped like half of a star, broken down the middle.  
  
On the part he still has, _Jensen A._ is written in golden letters, and for as much as he searches, the guy can't find the other part of it.  
  
He doesn't have any other identification with him, no wallet, no keys, nothing.  
  
"You probably had a jacket or a bag with you when you had the accident. It may still be downstairs, I didn't see it when I helped you upstairs, but maybe..." Jared stands up to go back and look for any of those things when a shaky hand grabs abruptly his sleeve.  
  
"NO! I mean, I'm sure that it's not there anymore," the guy states. "If someone found anything, the police will get it. And-we can go to the police tomorrow. No-no rush to go now, right?"  
  
It's easy for Jared to understand that the guy- _Jensen_ -is simply afraid of being left alone.  
  
Again, Jared can't blame him.  
  
"Sure," he agrees, and sees as Jensen visibly relaxes.  
  
"Wanna get something to eat? You can tell me everything about what happened and how we know each other as we fill our stomachs, what do you say? I'm _starving_." Jensen's small smile is uncertain, but grateful, and Jared feels a little happier he helped him out.  
  
Would have been so unfair for a guy like Jensen to die: his eyes are full of dreams, he can see them hidden behind the wall of forgetfulness.  
  
As on cue, Jared's stomach growls, and they both laugh.  
  
  
  
Once they're in the kitchen, Jared takes pans, cutlery, vegetables and meat out, laying it all on the table, before he remembers the broken vase on the living room's floor.  
  
"Jensen, would you mind starting to cut the vegetables? Be careful with the knife, I just sharpened it."  
  
Before he goes, he takes all of his spices out as well.  
He doesn't know what Jensen likes and how he likes it, so he better be prepared.  
  
While he collects the pieces of glass, his thoughts keep moving from who the guy in his kitchen to how he ended up in front of his building, passing through what the hell happened to cause the accident Jensen was involved in.  
  
All the doubts and questions about his powers are pushed on the side, for the moment. As usually happens when he's thinking too much, his favourite song comes up in his mind. Jared's so caught up that he doesn't realize he's muttering the words until he hears his own voice. He blushes a little and stops singing, but the music doesn't stop.  
  
Standing up quickly, the bag with the scattered remains of his vase in one hand and the broom in the other, Jared follows it to the kitchen.  
There, in front of the table, cutting vegetables as precisely and quickly as a pro, is Jensen.  
  
Who's muttering the same song, apparently without noticing he's doing it.  
  
 _If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go; don't wake me cause I'm dreaming of angels on the moon. You can tell me all your thoughts about the stars that fill polluted skies, and show me where you run to when no one's left to take your side; but don't tell me where the road ends, 'cause I just don't wanna know..._  
  
Jared's grip on the broom loosens and it drops, with a loud noise that startles Jensen and makes him jump.  
  
Despite the surprise, he doesn't cut himself and that, right there, is a small miracle.  
  
Jared's still staring at Jensen, so his nose needs a couple of seconds more to identify the heavenly smell that comes from the pan behind the guy.  
  
Jensen scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment.  
  
"I think I'm a _chef_."  
  
  
  
 _Jensen is whistling while he walks down the street. He has a date tonight, and maybe he's finally going to get laid. His friends don't stop teasing him, they keep repeating that if he wanted to marry his job, he should have at least chosen one that opened its legs a little more often. Jensen shrugs and laughs when they start talking about it, but it does sting a little when he thinks about it.  
  
He's had his share, like everyone else, but still he feels like his body and soul are not even his to give, like they belong to someone else.  
Jensen has never told anyone this, he knows how stupid it all seems in this day and age, he just can't help it.  
  
He can't become a monk waiting for someone he's not even sure exists, though, and besides if he doesn't go out and meet people how is he supposed to even meet this special someone?  
Just as he's approaching an intersection, Jensen feels like someone's calling him.  
  
He looks around, but no one seems familiar, so he looks on the other side of the road, and before he can process it, he's crossing the road.  
  
Everything happens so fast he doesn't even see the car coming: he feels the impact and then he probably blacks out._  
  
Jensen snaps awake, faint snatches of the dream remaining, still sticking to him.  
  
He knows that what he has just witnessed in his sleep was a memory: it was all way too vivid to be a fantasy, and besides it fits with what Jared told him last night.  
  
He checks the clock on the bedside table, and realizes that it's still freaking _early_.  
  
He doesn't feel like going back to sleep, though, so he stands up and silently reaches the kitchen. Once the door is closed, Jensen feels safe, at home, and an uncomfortable sense of guilt washes over him for even _thinking_ something like that.  
  
It's unfair to Jared, he knows; the guy has been way too nice to Jensen, taking into account that they're complete strangers.  
  
Jared opened his house, he offered him the chance to stay until they could find something out about his identity...Jensen couldn't have asked for anything more.  
  
Which is why he's now rolling his sleeves and getting ready to prepare a breakfast Jared will never forget.  
  
It's the least he can do.  
  
He doesn't remember his name or the face of his parents, but his hands move like they're remote-controlled as soon as he picks up the zucchini.  
Somehow, he knows he has to roast it together with the squash, the peppers, the mushrooms and the cheese (that he adds at the last minute following an idea coming from _God knows where_ ).  
  
The custard is quickly done as well, and as it cooks in the oven Jensen proceeds to use the last of the cheese, mushrooms and peppers, together with potatoes and sausage, to make a casserole, which he improves by adding onions and bacon.  
  
Once it's all done, Jensen mixes up the batter for pancakes: no breakfast can be called as such if there are no pancakes.  
  
He obviously adds to the batter his special touch, raspberries, blueberries and lemon, and as soon as it's ready, he glares at the frying pan.  
  
He's not sure he can do it, but- _what the hell, is he a chef or **not**_?!  
So, as soon as one side of the pancake is done, he grabs the pan's handle with both hands and with a sharp movement he throws the pancake in the air.  
  
The pancake follows a perfectly round-shaped trajectory and falls back in the pan, on the other side.  
  
Jensen stares at the golden circle of batter and giggles. _On with the next, then_ he thinks, and while he drops another spoonful of batter on the pan he starts whistling the only song that seems to have stuck into his temporarily empty brain.  
  
  
  
 _His mama is crying again. Jared knows she is. She never does it in front of him or Megan, but he knows she suffers for how things are going down between her and dad. Jared's little heart aches and he's sick inside because yeah, maybe it's all his fault.  
  
Sometimes he wakes up abruptly at the sound of stuff breaking, and the morning after they go shopping for glasses, plates, anything that needs to be replaced.  
  
They never talk about it.  
  
Dad always yells at him, calls him a freak, tells him it's all a big mistake. Jared suffers, but he knows his mama is suffering more, so he does his best to endure it.  
  
Besides, he knows Dad can't possibly mean any of those things: he's just mad.   
  
However, lately the fights are becoming more frequent, more heated.  
They fight about money, about Megan and most of all about Jared. Jared trembles in his bed, while fat tears run down his cheeks, praying it will be over soon.  
  
He tries promising his dad that he'll be better: he won't spill milk at dinner, he won't fight with Megan, he'll go to sleep as soon as they tell him to...he'd do anything for his dad to stay, and still, he leaves.  
  
Jared and Megan are crushed, and for a little while they keep expecting him to come back.  
  
"I picked the wrong man, Jared. I knew he was not my soulmate, I know that it was bound to end badly and still I settled, because it was easier than living alone every day of my life knowing I would never have the only thing my heart desired. But with the sour came the sweet: I got you from him, and I'll always be grateful for that."_  
  
Jared wakes up slowly, the light coming in from the blinds he didn't close properly last night and his eyes are wet.  
  
He dries them against his pillow, ashamed of tears he shouldn't shead anymore, not after, what? 13 years?  
  
His father doesn't deserve them, and his mama made him promise long ago that he would stop dwelling on the past and keep moving forward.  
So, as the obedient son he has always been, Jared breaths deeply and pushes the dream away.  
  
Of course, breathing deeply he also breathes in the most amazing smell ever and his eyes snap instantly open.  
  
He's up and down the stairs in seconds, and then he has to stop once again at his kitchen's door, because a feast is what is waiting for him on the table.  
  
Jensen's drying his hands on the dishcloth, while he whistles...of course, _Angels on the moon_.  
  
Jared would probably roll his eyes if he wasn't so enticed by everything he's seeing.  
  
Just when he's wondering if he should do or say something to advertise his presence, Jensen looks up and sees him.  
  
His mouth opens up in a warm and welcoming smile, that Jared reciprocates instinctively.  
  
"Morning, Jared! I didn't wake you up, did I?"  
  
Jared shakes his head, still unable to talk.  
  
Jensen evidently misunderstands his silence and starts apologizing. "I'm sorry for taking the liberty of using your kitchen and your food! I just-I woke up too early, and I guess I was nervous, so I couldn't go back to sleep, and I thought that maybe I could make you breakfast to thank you for what you've done for me, but now I see I was out of line and-"  
  
"Jensen!" Jared blurts out, a little louder than he intended, but it has the desired effect and Jensen shuts his mouth. "It's amazing. Really, you didn't have to do that. Thank you."  
  
Jensen's whole body relaxes, while he nods and pushes Jared towards a chair. As soon as Jared sees close up everything that's been laid out for him, his mouth waters.  
  
Jensen drops a little mound of pancakes on his plate, and Jared can see there's something different about them; before he can dig in, though, Jensen takes a jug and pours syrup all over them. "Now you can eat," he says.  
  
Jared beams and attacks his plate, without noticing the weird shape the syrup draws on the pancakes.  
  
  
  
"So, Jared, I think I remember the accident now," Jensen states, once almost all the food is gone. The breakfast was pretty damn good, even if he does say so himself. "It-flashed in my mind while I was sleeping. I got run over by a car, because I crossed without looking; can you believe it?"  
  
Jared blinks.  
Jensen's attitude is suspicious, and he knows there's something more that the guy's not telling him.  
  
His expression tells more than his words could, probably, because Jensen sighs. "Listen, it may sound a little crazy, ok? God, I don't even know why I'm telling you this. Well, while I was waiting for the light to change, I felt like someone was- _calling_ me. It was a desperate call, you know? Urgent, needy. I looked around and no one was calling me or talking to me, so I looked over to the other side and last thing I know I'm in the middle of the street and there are cars coming towards me."   
  
He's lying. The last thing he remembers is someone taking him into their arms and carrying him away from the road, and he has a good idea of who that _someone_ may be.  
  
Talking about that would be highly embarrassing, so he simply skips it.  
  
Jared doesn't know why he tells Jensen, either, but he feels somehow compelled and his family's story comes out, as pathetic and sad as it is.  
Of course, he leaves out a tiny detail too, represented by his Gift, but then again, he's still trying to come to terms with it.  
  
Also, Jensen's memory doesn't sound crazy at all.  
  
It strangely makes sense to Jared, and maybe he should worry about it, but he can't manage to.  
  
  
  


_TBC..._


	5. Don't wanna hide anymore

_FIFTH PART  
Don't wanna hide anymore_  
  
 **17th of July 2009**  
  
Time has passed since Jared took forgetful Jensen in after saving his life using his Gift.  
  
He's almost forgotten he had it, after some unfortunate accident he can't even remember now, and still it came to him when he needed it.  
  
Jensen's alive thanks to his gift (even if he doesn't know about it).  
  
Jared and Jensen find a weird balance in their temporarily shared lives: Jared goes to work and Jensen cleans, cooks and stalks the police station hoping someone comes looking for him, or his documents magically reappear.  
  
Jared proposes they hang posters with Jensen's photo all around town but Jensen refuses, stating he's not a lost puppy.  
  
As the days go by, the weird dreams slash memories intensify.  
  
Jensen, after remembering a few more flashes of his life (interesting and all, but totally useless) starts dreaming about gardens, brick roads, laughter and cowboy hats.  
  
The cowboy hats he gets: he's probably from Texas, he and Jared come to that conclusion because they have the same accent, even though Jensen's is a lot less evident than Jared's.  
  
He's also a great horse rider: they go to the country fair and Jensen successfully rides a pony backwards for longer than anyone else (he even wins a stuffed dragon for his performance that may or may not be hidden under his bed in Jared's guest room).  
  
Jensen also dreams about light, lots of light, and when he tells Jared he answers that it's probably the light at the end of the tunnel Jensen saw after the accident.  
  
Jared's dreams are a little darker: he dreams about screams, fire, shadows and penetrating eyes.  
  
The eyes, after a few nights, become part of a face which Jared is quite sure he's never seen before.  
  
The face is of a guy, his age, more or less, with dirty blond hair arranged in short spikes and a mean smirk permanently painted on his mouth.  
  
A name is also connected to the face: Dugray, Tristan Dugray.  
  
Usually Jensen makes fun of him and his hero wannabe fantasies, telling him he should stop watching historical movies.  
  
When Jared retaliates saying that he never had this kind of dream before Jensen came to live with him, meaning that it's his cooking that's upset his digestion and provoked nightmares, Jensen punches him in the face and doesn't cook for two whole days, so Jared apologizes profusely and promises he'll never say anything like that again.  
  
In the beginning, sharing these dreams with each other feels awkward, but in no time it becomes like a contest between them, seeing who had the most absurd.  
  
They start betting stuff on it, too.  
  
  
  
The last one to lose has been Jensen (his sunbeams on the lake dream have got nothing on Jared's medieval market one) so he's the one who has to go buy the groceries; he comes back in and has to open the door on his own, because the music's loud and Jared doesn't hear the doorbell.  
  
Jensen leaves the bags in the kitchen and then peeks in the living room, stopping dead in his tracks: Jared is there, eyes closed, moving together with the music.  
  
He recognizes it, it's the only song he remembers, the one he can't help whistling all the time which, coincidentally, is Jared's favourite.  
  
The song ends, and Jared opens his eyes.  
  
As soon as he sees Jensen there, he blushes furiously, then he opens his arms wide.  
  
"Come on, hit me with your best shot," Jared says, mocking tone but wary glance.  
  
And Jensen could make fun of him, he could, but he doesn't feel like it at all.   
  
What he does feel is sadness. "I'd like to be able to do it, but I doesn't remember how to," Jensen admits. "In fact, I don't even know if I have ever been able to."  
  
Jared's expression softens up. "I can show you," he offers, "I'm sure that dancing is not something you forget."  
  
As he talks, he grabs Jensen wrist and pulls him closer.  
  
Jensen squeaks and tries to break free, but Jared holds on. "Come on, Jared," he stutters, "there's no music!"  
  
Without losing a beat, Jared grabs the remote from the coffee table and pushes a button. A soft country ballad starts playing in the background.  
  
"Now there is," Jared points out, swaying slowly from side to side.  
  
Jensen moves goofily at the beginning; he even stomps on Jared's feet a couple of times but Jared keeps smiling at him and as the song goes on Jensen gets bolder and bolder, his body following the music.  
  
They get closer and closer, until there's no space even for air between them; Jensen breaths deeply, and his lungs are filled with Jared's scent, so intense his head spins.  
  
  
  
Jared has always loved this song.   
  
The image of a person without wings, who can't fly until he meets someone who shows him he doesn't need wings to fly.  
  
The idea of someone who comes and turns your world upside down until everything you may have had to hide is in plain sight, and even if it should scare you to death, you realize you don't care.  
  
You want that someone to see it all.  
  
Somehow the swaying has almost stopped; Jared looks down, and is met with the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen. They are so deep and full of something he can't place that for a moment Jared thinks he's going to drown in them, captivated by the golden that flickers in Jensen's irises.  
  
Jensen's hold on him tightens and he leans in, excruciatingly slowly.  
Jared licks his suddenly dry lips, looks at Jensen's face once more and then his eyes are caught by something else _behind_ Jensen: he looks and freezes instantly because the thing that had caught his attention was the sparkling of his chandelier, which he has never seen quite _this_ close, since he _has never been floating before_.  
  
Jared tries to keep his cool, because he realizes this is a potentially dangerous ( _very dangerous_ ) situation.  
  
He wills them to go down and luckily the Gift seems to listen, since they sway a little and end up back with their feet on the floor.  
  
As soon as they do, Jared moves abruptly away, to avoid Jensen sensing that something is wrong.  
  
Right then the oven timer goes off: Jared silently thanks every deity he knows and runs to save their dinner.  
  
Jensen is left alone and gaping in the center of the room, his arms still mid-air, and Jared's scent still on him.  
  
He knows what he has seen in Jared's eyes, he knows that now it's only a matter of time: Jensen's own intentions are clear, and not really a surprise to him.  
  
Now that he has felt the connection, Jensen realizes the mutual attraction has always been there.  
  
He shrugs: he has been stupid not to notice it earlier, but whatever.  
  
 _Better late than never_.  
  
  
  
 _Jared is walking through his garden, back in San Antonio. He's probably 11 or 12, and there's resolution in his eyes. Megan is there with him too. "My soulmate will want me so much they won't be able to stand it.  
My soulmate will hear my call a mile away, whistle my favourite song, ride a pony backwards, flip pancakes in the air. My soulmate will be marvellously kind, and their favourite shape will be a star."  
  
Jared sees rosemary, lilacs, lavender and white rose's petals, then...the maple.  
  
And a maple leaf.  
  
With a lot of leaves.  
  
"And finally, my soulmate will have the greenest eyes in the world."_  
  
Jared's eyes are open in the dark, and he has trouble breathing. Now he remembers that faithful 4th of July. He remembers how much faith he put into that spell, how much he believed it would work...it didn't, and he didn't confide in his Gift anymore, after that.  
  
But the spell talked about a 3-leaved leaf, for a three year wait.  
  
What about a _multiple leaved_ leaf? How would that have affected the spell?  
  
Jared doesn't need to think about it for a long time. He met Jensen on the 4th July, exactly 13 years after that night.   
  
It can't be a coincidence.  
  
Also, everything Jensen is, answers Jared's requirements. ( _Jensen's eyes, damn, his eyes_ ) and besides-  
  
 _while I was waiting for the light to change, I felt like someone was-calling me. It was a desperate call, you know? Urgent, needy. I looked around and no one was calling me or talking to me, so I looked over to the other side and last thing I know I'm in the middle of the street and there are cars coming towards me._  
  
Oh, God.  
  
It's _his_ fault Jensen got in that accident. He almost got killed, and for what?  
  
Jared can't stop the tears that suddenly spill from his eyes. It's all a lie. That kiss they almost shared, the attraction. Everything Jensen thinks is a lie.  
  
Jensen lost his identity and his life in order for Jared to get his happily ever after. But how can Jared live it now that he knows how much it cost?  
  
Jared sobs, rolled on himself.   
  
What's he supposed to do now?  
  
  
  
Jensen is sad and hurt.  
Saturday and Sunday have come and gone, and Jared has avoided him during the whole weekend.  
  
Every time Jensen has tried to touch him, even if only with a hand on his shoulder or a brush against his knee while they have been eating, Jared has twitched and moved away.  
  
At first Jensen thought Jared has just been freaking out, but as they have been going to bed he has seen it.  
  
 _Disgust.  
Regret.  
Guilt._  
  
All of this wrapped up in a nice package has shone on Jared's face for a second and it has hit Jensen like a punch in the guts.  
  
So, that's how it is: he _did_ read Jared wrong.  
  
He spoiled their friendship, tainted it and there's no turning back.  
Now Jensen is really alone. Without memories, without a future and without the only present he's been growing into.   
  
That night he cries himself to sleep, swallowing the feelings of inadequacy and failure that are threatening to eat him from the inside.  
  
  
  
On Monday morning, Jared is about to knock on Jensen's door, but what could he say?  
  
 _I'm sorry for destroying your life, but I was only eleven? My only happiness would come from being with you, so I expect you to renounce yours? I don't care about who you were, as long as you're ready to become who I want you to be?_  
  
His arm falls limp against his side, his hand still clenched in a tight fist, as he lower his head and leaves to go to work.  
  
 _Get your shit together, Jared! You can't ignore him forever, it's not fair to him._  
  
Yeah, easier said than done. He even forgot that today is his birthday.  
  
  
  
The insistent ring of the phone pulls Jensen out of sleep.  
  
He didn't even bother waking up as early as usual to make breakfast for him and Jared.  
  
Growling, he picks up the receiver. "Yeah?" He mumbles.  
  
"Mister Padalecki?"  
  
"No, he's not here at the m-"  
  
"I'm calling from the police station, regarding some lost documents."  
Jensen perks up. "I'm the one you have to talk to, then. I'm the one who lost them."  
  
"Oh, in this case, Mr. Ackles, could you please drop by the station as soon as possible?"  
  
 _Ackles. My name is Jensen Ackles._ "Of course. I'll be right there."  
  
Jensen hangs up and looks around the room. There are a few clothes here and there which Jared bought for him, but nothing more. He didn't have anything to start with.  
  
Once he's showered and dressed in his original clothes, the ones Jared found him in and that have been repaired a few days ago, he leaves everything in order like he's not going to return, because...he's not sure that he is.  
  
He's about to get his life back, and maybe it's the right moment to do the same for Jared.  
  
When he closes the door, he tries to do it as silently as possible, and still its soft slam weighs on Jensen's heart like a giant stone.  
  
He takes the stairs instead of the elevator, trying to stretch his last moments in the only home he knows but eventually he's outside.  
  
The sky is gray and the air smells like rain.  
  
Jensen sighs and stops at the intersection in front of Jared's building, intending on crossing, when a heavy hand lands on his shoulder.  
  
He tries to turn his head, but a white cloth is pressed against his mouth and nose.  
  
As the chloroform does its job and he feels his conscience slip away, Jensen can't help thinking that maybe this fucking intersection is _cursed_.  
  
  
  


_TBC..._


	6. Then I knew, in the crystalline knowledge of you

_SIXTH PART  
Then I knew, in the crystalline knowledge of you_  
  
 **18th of July 2009**  
  
"So, Chris, you're saying he's not alone any more?"  
  
The long haired man nodded.  
  
"There's a guy living with Jared. He took him in after there had been an accident."  
  
Chris took a picture from a white folder and placed it in front of another man whose hair was short and spiky, a dirty blond colour. He looked at it, narrowing his eyes. "I think I've seen this guy before. I can't remember...oh well, maybe he just has a common face," he concluded, shrugging.  
  
Another man that had stood silent all the while, got closer to the table and looked at the picture as well. "So it's true! I'll be damned" He said, chuckling.   
  
"Don't be so surprised, Steve: half the straight guys I've met wore lace underwear," the blond man answered. "I would have never dared to hope for this, though," he added in a whisper, his eyes lost somewhere far away.  
  
Chris cleared his throat and the blond man snapped out of it. "It's our move now," he stated, standing up.   
  
"And tomorrow's the _perfect_ day to approach Jared."  
  
  
  
They had been waiting in front of the building for hours, but Jared still didn't come out.  
  
"Maybe he's gone to work already?" Steve suggested.  
  
"Damnit," the blond guy cursed.  
  
Then, Chris grabbed his sleeve and pulled it. "That's the guy! That's the guy living with Jared!"  
  
"Are you sure?" The blond guy asked.  
  
"Positive, boss. That's him."  
  
The blond guy stared at the person walking out of the building with his head hanging low, watching as he walked down the street. An old lady greeted him and the guy looked up, offering a small smile in answer.  
  
"Wait a second," the blond guy's eyes widened in recognition. "It's _him_! I knew I recognized that guy someplace. It's him, _curse_ the _ages_!"  
  
Steve and Chris look at each other, confused, then the blond guy turned abruptly towards them. "What the hell are you people still doing here?!  
I want this to stop immediately, and if it doesn't, so help me God, you are all _dead meat_! I want to _kill_ him, I want to _hurt_ him and I want to _eliminate_ him _now_!"  
  
Even if their boss was hissing, his voice dripped venom and fury, and his men shivered.  
  
Chris swallowed noisily. "I'm not sure this is a good idea...I mean, you are practically planning to _ruin_ this guy's life..."  
  
"Chris, you're not developing a conscience on me, are you?" The blond guy asked, his fists clenching.  
  
Chris stepped back. "No, I don't think so. Sorry, boss."  
  
The blond guy's expression softened a little. "I just want Jared to come back where he truly belongs, and if I have to step on a toe or two in order to do it, well, it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."  
  
Steve grabbed Chris' wrist and pulled him away, muttering _what's wrong with you? Talk back at the boss?!_ while they moved closer to their mark.  
  
The blond guy watched as his men approached the only person standing between him and Jared from the back.  
  
 _No one messes with Chad Michael Murray and his love life_ the blond guy thinks, a dangerous light flickering in his eyes.  
  
 _I've been waiting for this day for over a century, and no pipsqueak like you is going to interfere with my- **our** destiny_.  
  
  
  
"Jared! Thank God you're finally home!"  
  
Jared lifts his eyes and sees Sophia, his next door neighbour, run towards him. "Where have you been?! You missed all the _how-do-you-do_!"  
  
Jared blinks. "What are you talking about?!" He asks, confused.  
  
Sophia huffs. "Looks like someone was abducted in front of the building this morning. My, my, this neighborhood is not safe anymore," she explains. "Also, wasn't today your birthday?" She adds after an instant.  
  
At Jared's small nod she hugs him. "Best wishes then!" Sophia looks right and left. "But-where is Jensen? I thought you went everywhere together..."  
  
Jared clenches his jaw. "Yeah, well. We-we got in a fight."  
  
Sophia smiles understandingly. "I hope everything will be ok,"  
  
Jared smiles back at her and hurries home. His head is full of images of Jensen's sad expression, and he's done wavering. He's going to tell him the truth: at least if he loses him, he'll know he did his best to keep him.  
He rings the doorbell, but no one opens. Jared sighs. Jensen is probably still mad at him. He enters and calls for Jensen; when no answer comes he goes straight to Jensen's room and finds it empty.  
  
The few clothes they bought are ironed and folded on the bed, which is made. Jared's heart cracks a little at the view. He runs around the house, but he already feels it.  
  
Jensen's not there anymore.  
  
In the kitchen he finds a brief note, stuck to the fridge with the plastic tag: the police found Jensen's documents, so he's gone.  
  
 _For good_.  
  
Jared stares at the paper clutched in his hand just to smooth it out lovingly a second after.  
  
Is all he has of Jensen, now. He lets himself fall on the couch, and it's only then that he notices the blinking light of his answering machine. He pushes the button.  
  
 _ **You have one message.  
  
Message recorded at 5 pm on the 19th of July 2009.**  
  
Mr. Padalecki? This is the police station. We called this morning to let you know we found Mr. Jensen Ackles' documents and it was Mr. Ackles himself who answered. He told us he was coming to collect them today, so we were expecting either you or Mr. Ackles to drop by, but no one has come yet: we'd like to remind you that we can't hold them here forever.  
Please drop by as soon as possible, not later than the end of the week.  
Thank you._  
  
Jared's eyes widen.  
  
 _"He told us he was coming to collect them today, so we were expecting either you or Mr. Ackles to drop by, but no one has come yet."_  
  
 _"Looks like someone was abducted in front of the building this morning."_  
  
Jared jumps up like a spring, and stomps towards his studio. Puppy or not, it's time to get his printer to good use.  
  
  
  
The car is riding fast towards their home base. "We have him, what are we going to do with him now? Do we shoot him?" Steve asks, a hopeful smile on his face.  
  
Chris rolls his eyes.  
  
Chad is about to answer that _yeah, the sucker is going down in the most painful way as possible_ when he sees the sees the flyers.  
  
Hundreds of them, stuck to trees, walls, cars, trashbins.  
They're everywhere, and they all say the same thing.  
  
 _ **MISSING**  
  
Jensen Ackles, 30.  
  
He has lost his memory lately, so he could be lost and scared.  
Jensen is 5ft 11in tall, of medium build with blond hair and green eyes.   
  
When last seen he was wearing blue jeans and a red jumper. He has been missing since this morning; there is great concern for him as his disappearance is out of character.  
  
If you see him, call **Jared Padalecki** at **0800 700 753**  
Any hour of day or night. _  
  
Chad stops the car, gets down and tears a flyer out of a windshield.  
"No, I have a better idea," he says, before grabbing his phone. "Mr. Padalecki? I'm calling regarding the guy you're looking for, Jensen: I think I've seen him. I can give you the address, but you must be quick: he may leave at any moment."  
  
On the other side of the line, the voice gets frantic.  
  
Chad smirks.   
  
  
  
Jared runs up the stairs of the building like he had wings. Once he slams the door to the rooftop open, he expects to see Jensen, with his big, green eyes filled with warmth, concern and-  
  
But what he sees is a slim man, blond at it, but nothing like Jensen.  
Disappointment washes over him, until the man starts talking. "Jared! we were hoping you'd drop by. Can I get you something to drink?"  
  
He was expecting him?  
  
That means he's the one that called.  
  
"Where is he?" He asks then trying not to be rude.  
  
The guy smiles. "Oh, don't worry: he's perfectly safe. Now, let's talk about you for a moment: is he your boyfriend?"  
  
Jared blinks, surprised by the question, and then he's swamped by memories of their few days together, especially the last ones. "...no" he admits, hastily.  
  
"So you're still looking," the guy states, crossing his arms in front of his chest.  
  
"For true love? Yeah" Jared answers, starting to get antsy.  
  
He doesn't like this guy.  
  
The guy waves his arms in the air. "That's bullshit! True love is like the Loch Ness monster, everyone talks about it but no one has ever seen it."  
Jared shakes his head. "I disagree. I think there's someone out there for everyone."  
  
The smile the guy offers to Jared is a lot less gentle and a lot more predatory. "I couldn't agree more on that," he says, starting to walk towards Jared. "You just have to follow your heart and fulfil your destiny."  
  
Jared slowly steps back, and when the guy notices he stops. "Why are you running?" He asks, looking confused. "What's wrong? Have you lost your memory? Don't you remember me?"  
  
Jared gets that this man is weird, but he knows where Jensen is and therefore Jared can't make him mad. "When was the last time we saw each other? I mean before-before today."  
  
The guy chuckles. "I've been watching you for almost ten years now, but the last time you saw me was a century ago on the bridge."  
  
Jared's even more lost than before. "What are you talking about? Where-what bridge?!"  
  
"It's a typical old world tale: _knight,_ " the guy explains, pointing at himself, "meets _peasant._ " He points at Jared. "Then the peasant breaks his heart, and the knight has him killed."  
  
Jared feels like laughing. "Yeah, that's typical alright-" Then suddenly, the story clicks.  
  
 _The bridge.  
The stake.  
The knight._  
  
"It's you," Jared stutters, "it's you! Tristan- _Tristan Dugray_!"  
  
The guy looks pleased. "Well, in this lifetime my name is _Chad_ but yeah, of course it's me."  
  
Chad tries to come closer again, while Jared retreats.  
  
" _Clay_ , you're beginning to frighten me, now." Chad says, huffing.  
  
"Stop it!" Jared exclaims. "I'm _Jared Padalecki_ of San Antonio, Texas! I'm not a _peasant_ , or whatever you called me."  
  
Chad shrugs. "I don't care. I still want you. I've been waiting for this moment as the greatest day in two lifetimes."  
  
Jared's mouth hangs open, and he's too shocked to say anything but "I don't even _know_ you!"  
  
"Yes, you do, you just haven't realized it yet," Chad corrects him. "All will come with time."  
  
Jared lets his arms drop down. "Oh my God, you're _serious_."  
  
Chad narrows his eyes and clenches his fists, all his posture screaming dangerous.  
"Clay, Jared, _whatever_. I want you more than anyone else is going to want you in your whole life. Come on, I think it would be wonderful to have the whole team back together again."  
  
Once Jared realizes he can't reason with this guy, his thoughts go back to Jensen. He doesn't care about making Chad mad anymore: he has to get to Jensen and leave, before things turn really ugly.   
  
"What did you do with him?" He asks then assuming a defensive posture.  
  
"Relax, he's just an average guy! You can have however many you want of those."  
  
"You son of a bitch, where is he?" Jared is hissing, fear and anger intertwined so tightly in his guts that it's impossible for him to understand where one ends and the other begins.  
  
"What's wrong with you?!" Chad is shouting now, the veins on his neck swelling. "Why him?!"  
  
Jared snorts. "You would never understand," he spits.  
  
Chad looks like he's about to jump at Jared's throat, but then he suddenly calms down. "You know what? Forget it." He steps back and opens his arms wide. "You let me fuck you here, now, or you're _never_ going to see him again."  
  
Jared feels his blood go cold. In Chad's eyes he can read how firm he is and how much he's not joking. "You really mean it?" He asks, and doesn't care if his voice trembles a little.  
  
Is not like he still cares for his dignity.  
  
He just wants Jensen to be safe.  
  
Chad licks his lips. "Fuck yeah."  
  
Jared feels his stomach clench. " _Fine_."  
  
  
  
Jensen has come to in a dark basement.  
  
He has tried to break free, shouting curses in the gag they had to put on him to avoid that someone came by to investigate what all the fuss was about.  
  
"The plan is working!" One of the goons exclaims. "He's coming here, and once we'll have met everything will be ok."  
  
The guy is slim and blond, and the other two call him Boss.  
  
"Very soon Jared will finally belong to me as it was always supposed to be. Whether he likes it or not." The guy laughs as he leaves and his laughter makes all the hair on the back of Jensen's neck stand up.  
  
This is so _not_ good.  
  
Jensen desperately tries to undo the knots, squirming under the cold stare of the guy who is currently watching him.  
  
Then hurried steps come from the stairs and the guy stands up to meet whoever is coming down.  
  
"Chris, what are you doing here? Is it time for you to relieve me already?" He asks.  
  
The other guy's eyes flicker left and right. "No, there's just a change of plans. I have to pick the guy and take him upstairs. Hide him away, just to be sure Jared doesn't see him. Chad wants to try to _convince_ him first."  
  
Steve sighs. "Poor bastard. I almost feel sorry for him. I mean, all of this fuss because he fell for the wrong man."  
  
The other guy nods. "I know, it's sad, isn't it? Let's go, before Chad gets mad and asks for both our heads."  
  
His captors come back into Jensen's visual field. "Looks like you're going out for a walk," he says when they're in front of him, with a mocking smile.  
  
The other guy swallows. "I'm sorry Steve," he mutters, before hitting his head with the back of his gun.  
  
Steve falls unconscious on the floor and the guy kneels next to a stunned Jensen, cutting the ropes.  
  
Jensen takes off the gag and gratefully drinks from the water bottle the guy offers him. "Why are you doing this?" He asks.  
  
Chris smiles sadly. "Because I recognize love when I see it." He looks longingly at Steve's limp body. "Chad's not in love. He's obsessed, and nothing good has ever come from obsession." He palms Jensen's shoulder.  
"They're probably on the roof; go, I'll watch Steve."  
  
Jensen nods, shakes Chris' hand with gratitude and runs away as fast as he can with his hurting legs.  
  
  
  
They're both shirtless and Chad is undoing his belt buckle when Jared pushes him away and crosses his arms protectively on his chest. "I can't do it."  
  
Chad blinks."Why not?"  
  
Jared lifts his chin, trying to hide how scared he is. "If I'm one thing, I'm _loyal,_ " he says.  
  
Chad looks shocked. "Jared, you're not seriously turning me down for someone who's not even _yours_ to begin with!"  
  
"Actually? I am." Jared answers.  
  
"I finally found a place where I belong, and I know it won't be easy, but-I want to try. Jensen is all I want, and it's worth it. Even if he ends up not wanting me back."  
  
Chad rolls his eyes and takes out a gun, pointing it at Jared. "Yeah, yeah. Listen, this fairy tale has gone far enough, uh?"  
  
Jared steps back. "Have you gone completely crazy?!"  
  
Chad shrugs. "Who knows? Maybe." He arches an eyebrow. "Last chance, loverboy."  
  
Jared knows he's doomed, but he won't do it. Not now that he has remembered he waited for almost a century to find the right one. So, he slowly shakes his head.  
  
Chad sighs. "God, I can't believe I have to say this _again_ , but anyway- _if I can't have you no one else will_."  
  
He cocks the gun and smirks.  
  
"See you in the next lifetime, Jared."  
  
Just as he's pressing the trigger, a painful scream resounds on the rooftop as Jensen jumps in front of Jared, who doesn't even have the time of moving away.  
  
 _Deja-vu_ is the last thing both of them think before the bullet comes out of the barrel of the gun aiming straight at them.  
  
  
  


_TBC..._


	7. You're haunted, you know you are

_SEVENTH PART  
You're haunted, you know you are_  
  
It's true that when you're about to die your whole life passes in front of you.  
  
Jensen has his eyes closed, while he waits for the impact and all he can see is Jared.  
  
Jared's _smile_ , Jared's _pout_ , Jared's _hands_.  
  
He can still feel Jared's body pressed against his while they danced, he can still savour the taste of home.  
  
He supposes that, since he doesn't remember anything of his life before meeting Jared it's understandable that all of his last memories are of him; however, something tells him he'd have remembered only Jared even if he hadn't had the accident, simply because he doesn't need to remember to know that Jared's the best thing that ever happened to him.  
  
Then a few sentences echo through his head.  
  
 _"I finally found a place where I belong, and I know it won't be easy, but-I want to try. Jensen is all I want, and it's worth it. Even if he ends up not wanting me back."_  
  
Jensen feels his heart soar: after the last few days, he would have never thought he'd hear such words come from Jared's mouth and they give him hope.  
  
He plays them over and over, until he realizes that he has been waiting way too long for the impact.  
  
Maybe he's dead already and they're giving him extra time to adjust before claiming him.  
  
He slowly opens an eye and then jumps back shrieking.  
  
The bullet is standing mid-air, just in front of his nose.  
  
It's perfectly still, as is Chad in front of him and Jared, who lies on the floor.  
  
"Oh, God, Jared! Are you ok?!"  
  
Jensen kneels next to him and is about to take Jared's head in his lap when he hears a sigh.  
  
He turns, expecting one of Chad's goons but finding a strikingly handsome man in a brown trench coat staring back at him instead.  
  
"You had to go and do it _again_ , didn't you?" The man asks, evidently annoyed.  
  
Jensen blinks. "I beg your pardon?" The man waves his hands in the air and then walks up to him. "Let him go," he adds, pointing at Jared.  
  
"He's frozen, he can't speak or move."  
"Wha- _frozen_?!" Jensen's eyes widen. _What the heck is going on?!_  
  
"I'll have to show you," the guy says, lifting two fingers and pressing them against Jensen's forehead.  
  
The world around him explodes in a kaleidoscope of colours.  
  
  
  
 **Kingdom of Hauptmann Koenig - a long time ago**  
  
Tom always knew there was something _special_ about Clay.  
  
His grandparents lived next door to him, and he had watched the kid grow, envying how easy everything seemed for him. Clay was always so easygoing, happy and carefree; even after his mother died, he never stopped smiling and trying to help people.  
  
Of course Tom was aware that Clay was _different_ ; he had something, that the others didn't have and it made sense that he had to hide it.  
  
People wouldn't understand and Tom was ready to take Clay's secret to the grave with him.  
  
He never actually spoke to Clay but every week he went to the market and every week he bought his vegetables and fruits just so that at least for a few minutes Clay's smile belonged to him.  
  
He didn't need anything else: he was perfectly happy this way.  
  
He knew that he didn't have absolutely anything to give Clay and never entertained the thought that someday things would change.  
  
He honestly didn't even realize his feelings were changing from platonic adoration to burning passion until it was too late to change them back, and they were already 24.  
  
Tom knew everything would change when he saw the Captain of the Royal Army coming on to Clay.  
  
He expected someone to notice how much muscle Clay had put on during the summer (they would have had to be blind _not_ to) but he didn't expect anyone to be that straight-forward, especially not Captain Tristan Dugray.  
  
However, it happened, and Clay had been clearly uncomfortable during the whole encounter, so Tom decided what he had to do without even blinking: he'd _protect_ Clay.  
  
The guy brought meaning to his life, now he had to repay him.  
  
The weeks passed by and the Captain became more and more insistent.  
  
In the end, Clay had to accept he was not going to be able to break free of this one and planned his escape, taking his little sister along.  
  
Whitney was the one who told Tom everything about it: she fancied him, and Tom knew that.  
  
Many nights he stood awake, unable to sleep, wondering how much easier his life would have been if he'd fallen for her instead of Clay.  
  
When the night ended, though, it took away all his doubts with her and Tom concluded that yeah, maybe his life would have been easier, but not as happy.  
  
Tom never ran that fast before.  
  
He wasn't even aware he could run that fast, actually. Adrenaline makes miracles. He saw Clay's horse on the bridge and cursed. The King's Knights were already there and Clay was trapped.  
  
He got as close as he could to the bridge, waiting for the right occasion to intervene and save Clay, so the Captain's words reached his ears loud and clear.  
  
 _"I don't want to marry you, boy. I just want to have you. I want to enter your body, to feel it open up for me as a flower, to see you keen and beg for me to take you...I want to hear you moan my name."_  
  
Tom swallowed heavily and closed his eyes, embarrassed.  
  
He had dreamed about that himself, more than once. It never sounded quite as dirty and wrong, though: in his mind Clay and him were laying together in Tom's bunk, sharing caresses and whispered promises, discovering the pleasures their bodies could give them and using them only to cement what was going to be an eternal bond.  
  
Clay's answer snatched him out of his musings and made him forget how to breathe.  
  
 _"I can't do it. I'm sorry, but I can't. I'm saving my body for my true love."_  
  
The Captain didn't take it very well, and ordered Clay's immediate death.  
Tom was about to jump in and snatch Clay away, but then his eyes fell on Whitney and he knew Clay was not going to leave, not without her, and for as fast as Tom could be he would have never been able to save them both.  
  
His eyes filled up with tears and he turned his head away when he heard the fire begin to crackle.  
  
Whitney fell on the floor and started sobbing uncontrollably.  
  
That's when a life without Clay appeared in front of Tom's eyes.  
  
 _A dull life with no colours, no laughter, no **love**._  
  
Tom didn't want that life.  
  
He hopped into the river and once he was soaking wet he waded resolutely towards the stake.  
  
One of the knights tried to stop him but Tom's eyes shone with certainty and were so intense that the man took a step back.  
  
"Sir...?" The knight asked, unsure.  
  
Sir Dugray chuckled. "Let him go meet his death, poor fool. He probably wants what I wanted, too."  
  
The closer he got to the stake the louder the sounds Clay was making became. The boy was whimpering and coughing, probably because breathing was becoming difficult.  
  
"Clay!" Tom screamed, throwing himself through the flames to get to his love.  
  
He kept calling, begging Clay to open his eyes and look at him, that they were going to be fine...  
  
Clay's eyelids fluttered and he turned his face towards Tom before all of his body went limp.  
  
" _ **No**. Nononononononononononono_ " Tom chanted, enveloping Clay with his body to somehow shield him from the flames and the smoke.  
  
Clay's heart was still beating, faintly but it was, and Tom didn't want to live a minute in a world without Clay.  
  
He tightened his hold on him and let himself be pulled towards unconsciousness.  
  
His last thought was _I'll love you forever_.   
  
  
  
More colours flash and suddenly Jensen is back in his body, in his own time, on the same rooftop where some stranger just froze time in order to save him and Jared from certain death.  
  
"What the fuck was _that_? Did you hypnotize me?" He spits, glaring at the guy who rolls his eyes.  
  
"No, Jensen, I didn't. What you just saw was your past life, where, as you have been able to observe, your kamikaze second nature showed for the first time."  
  
Jensen blinks. This man freezes time, time travels and is a hunk, but his sense of humour _sucks_.  
  
"I didn't have a chance to use it during more than a century, give me a break," the man mutters, and Jensen blushes furiously when he realizes the man has just _read his mind_. "Well, if you're done fretting over trivial things, do you think we can maybe move on? The freezing thing gives me a headache."  
  
Jensen nods dumbly, unsure of what he's expected to do.  
  
The man sighs.  
"Ok, let's recap. You saw your past life and death. Did you notice anything _unusual_?"  
  
Jensen glares at him again. "Aside from the fact that I was time travelling to the Middle Ages?"  
  
The man's mouth twitches, and Jensen thinks that it's probably the closest thing to a smile he's seen the man do. "Aside from that."  
  
Jensen ponders about it, while his eyes roam around aimlessly, until they stop on Jared by their own volition. He has to smile, then, because Jared's face looks so peaceful and relaxed, his hair arranged around his face, that little mole under his left eye...  
  
"Jared looks _exactly_ like Clay!" He exclaims, suddenly.  
  
The guy waves his hand, inviting him to continue.  
  
"Oh, fuck," Jensen mumbles, covering his forehead with a hand. "Jared _is_ Clay."  
  
" _Dingdingdingdingding_! And the guy wins hands down!"  
  
Jensen ignores the man and turns towards Chad, realization dawning on him. "Hey! Isn't he-" He starts, pointing at him. The man is probably about to make some smart retort, so Jensen just snaps his mouth shut.  
Of course Chad is the captain who had Clay killed. "So, you're telling me all of this because..."  
  
"You can't possibly be _this thick,_ " the man mutters, so Jensen pretends he didn't hear him.   
  
"Jared has the power to defeat his enemy. He simply doesn't realize he does. You have to help him in letting it... _flow_."  
  
Jensen nods. "Ok, then."  
  
He motions for Jensen to lay in the same position as he was, then picks the bullet and moves it far from them.  
  
"All done! Oh, one more thing."  
  
The man gets closer to Jensen once more and this time, instead of putting the fingers on his forehead, he pokes his neck.  
  
It's like an intramuscular injection, his whole life, each and every memory placed directly back into his brain.  
  
He blinks profusely, feeling dizzy while he tries to understand what he has just seen, but before he can fully grasp it the man nods and the time starts moving again.  
  
  
  
The bullet hits the wall and Chad stares at the gun, failing to understand what happened.  
  
Taking advantage of the handful of seconds they dispose of, Jensen shakes Jared.  
  
"Jared, you can take him. You can take him, come on!"  
  
Jared shakes his head, as if trying to clear it. He doesn't wonder what Jensen's doing there, he's too happy to see him safe and not mad at him anymore and- " _Take_ him?! Jensen, he's _nuts_! And he has a _gun_! How am I supposed to fight him?"  
  
"With your Gift" Jensen answers, and he sees Jared's face go pale.  
  
"How do you-"  
  
"There's no time now, Jared. Just _do_ , ok? And I'm not mad or anything, I swear, but I will be if you get us both killed. You can do it, you simply have to... _let it flow_ " he adds, quoting the mysterious man and hoping those are the right words.  
  
They seem to be, because a little color returns to Jared's cheeks and he nods, standing back up and in a couple of steps he's behind Chad.  
He breaths deeply and places his hand on Chad's neck, letting the Gift take control.  
  
Chad's about to turn towards him, but then he sags on the floor like a puppet whose strings have been cut.  
  
Jared goes down with him, without letting go, even as he feels the Gift flowing from him to Chad, leaving his body.  
  
He's losing his Gift, and still it's their only chance so he can't be selfish.  
  
Besides, didn't he spend the last ten years of his life wishing he never had the Gift to begin with?  
  
Chad is convulsing, his mouth opens and closes but no sound comes out.  
His eyes are wide, injected with blood and filled with fear, then they start to go glassy.  
  
Suddenly the seizures stop, his eyes close and with a whimper, Chad vanishes.  
  
He simply _disappears_ , nothing's left of him.  
  
Not even a little heap of ashes.  
  
All in all, it's pretty disappointing.  
  
Jared is still kneeling on the floor, staring at his empty hands like he lost a treasure he didn't protect properly; when Jensen gets closer to him and Jared lifts his teary eyes on him, Jensen realizes that's probably exactly what has happened.  
  
"It's _gone,_ " he whispers, "my Gift is gone." He shows his hands to Jensen.  
  
"I can still feel the tips of my fingers tingle but it's not _here_ anymore. I didn't want it, you know, I _cursed_ it because it had ruined my life, and still-it saved my life. And gave me _you_."  
Jared becomes aware of the words only once they've already left his mouth. He turns abruptly towards Jensen, fear plain on his face.  
"I'm sorry, Jensen! I didn't mean to lie to you! I just-I didn't know it could do that, you know? I just saw you there, and you were leaving, and I-I had just _found_ you." Jared snorts. "Turns out you were the one who found me. Because I _sent_ for you."  
  
Now it's Jensen's turn to blink. "Jared, what are you talking about? You're still in shock, maybe we should-"  
  
" _I've put a spell on you._ " Jared blurts out. Once the words are finally out, it's as if a dam had broken and Jared doesn't stop until everything's out.  
  
The sadness at his mother's words, the decision that he was not going to settle for anything less than his soulmate, the spell, the wrong leaf, the neverending wait that took away his confidence and finally their fateful meeting.  
  
Jensen takes Jared's hands.  
  
"Jared, stop it. It wasn't fate that brought me to your door. It was _you_. Not your spell, not your Gift, you. Because you are everything I've been searching for my whole life. I'm a little mixed up about that, I admit it, but-"  
  
"Jensen, I asked for qualities in a person that I knew couldn't possibly exist, like your stunning green eyes. Have you ever seen anyone else with eyes like yours?" Jensen doesn't answer, and Jared takes it as his cue to go on. "But you _do_ exist. And now I don't know what to do! I mean, it's all my fault. If I hadn't put that spell on you, you would have never gotten in that accident. I stole your life in order to make mine worth living."  
  
Jensen's grip on Jared's hands tightens. "Are you really trying to tell me that what I'm feeling is... _not real_?"  
  
Jared nods, slowly, incapable of looking at Jensen's face. "If you stayed, I wouldn't know if it was because of the spell and you wouldn't know if it was because I felt guilty."  
  
Jensen feels Jared slipping through his fingers and tries desperately to stop that from happening. "All relationships have problems," he objects, but Jared just keeps shaking his head furiously.  
  
Jensen knows he has the right words, but he can't find them.  
  
He needs time, just a little time: he got back his memories all together, they are still getting to their rightful places and he's not yet able to sort them out properly to look for that one memory he knows could make everything alright.  
  
"So what, you do what you do, I do what I do and we'll see where we end up?" He asks, maybe a little more forcefully than he intended, and Jared twitches. "You know, Jared, magic only has power when you believe in it. And it works both with curses and... _spells_..."  
  
And just like that, the memory unlocks. "You know what?" he lifts Jared's chin with a finger. " _I_ sent for _you_ too."  
  
Jared's eyes widen. "W-what? You don't mean that."  
  
Jensen sighs. "Actually, I do."  
  
  
  
 **4th of July 1996**  
  
Jensen entered his grandma's library on tiptoe.  
  
He most certainly didn't want her to know he was still awake and close to her precious books, after all.  
  
He didn't have anyone else in the world but his grandparents: his family was that and it was going to have to do.  
  
When his grandma was picking up a book for him to read, that afternoon, he saw a glimpse of another one, with a purple cover, that felt like it was calling to him.  
  
That's why he waited for everyone to go to bed and then crept in the library.  
  
Sure enough the book was there, so he took it from the shelf and then sat next to the window, to be able to read using the moonlight.  
  
It didn't take long for him to realize it was a magic book.  
  
Jensen snorted.  
  
What was his grandma, always so dry and rational, doing with a _magic book_?  
  
His fingers turned pages and pages, until they stopped on a random chapter.  
  
 _True love spell **Alma Veritas**_  
  
Jensen read it, fascinated, repeating the ingredients in his mind.  
  
According to the book, apart from brewing the potion, he was supposed to add his own requests regarding the person who the spell was going to allure and write them on a scrap of paper he'd have to burn on a sacred candle.  
  
 _You will feel obsessed with me, will need me like air to breathe: in sleep, you'll dream and think of us, and when you'll awake you'll still be in love.  
  
I'll change your thoughts, your mind will not be clear except for what I make you feel: I'll know my magic's taking hold when I'll see you losing all your self control.  
Once I've made this spell I'll haunt you: there'll be no way you can get away from your haunted heart.  
  
My wish is your command: I'll have you in the palm of my hand.  
With one touch, you'll be mine for good: it will work just the way I planned it would.  
  
I'll come to you in the midst one night, I'll creep by your side; you'll want me, and I'll want you.  
  
Once I've made this spell, with one touch, you'll be mine for good._  
  
Everything went down without a hitch, and Jensen was quite proud of how he succeeded in making everything as the book said, but the weeks passed, then the months, and no results from the spell.  
  
He kept stealing glances at the book every now and then, until one night he went to get it and it was gone.  
  
Now he'd never know what he had done wrong, and there would be no way to fix it.  
  
  
  
Jared looks torn between laughter and crying and when he finally manages to make a sound it's something in between a snort and a hiccup.  
  
"The spells must have neutralized each other," Jensen concludes, his fingers still under Jared's chin. "The feelings we have for each other are real."  
  
Jared nods slowly, dumbfounded, like he still can't believe it.  
  
Every fear, every doubt, every trace of the guilt that almost choked him is gone, melted like snow under the first warmth of spring.   
  
"So, where were we?" Jensen asks softly, pulling Jared closer.  
  
"We were dancing in my living room, and I had to stop because we were floating and I was scared shitless you were going to have a heart attack if you noticed it."  
  
Jensen chuckles. " _Before_ that."  
  
Jared blushes slightly. "...oh. You were about to-kiss me, I-I think," he stutters.  
  
Jensen beams at him. "Damn straight," he says and leans in once more, feeling Jared's warm breath on his lips.  
  
One more second, and then they-  
  
"Hey, lovebirds. May I have your attention, please? _Now_?"  
  
  
  


_TBC..._


	8. If the world runs out of lovers we'll still have each other

_EIGHTH PART  
If the world runs out of lovers we'll still have each other_  
  
Jensen recognizes the gruffy voice and the only reason he doesn't tell the man to fuck off is because he kind of saved both his and Jared's life.  
  
So yeah, they waited a century, they can wait a little more, right?  
  
"You could have given us a couple more minutes," he mutters though, because he _is_ a little pissed, after all.  
  
The man walks towards them. "Oh, you'll have all the time you want once you're back in Heaven."  
  
"Heaven?!" Both of the boys ask in unison.  
  
Misha huffs, clearly upset. "Yeah, _Heaven_. Congratulations, Goldielocks, you complied with your side of the deal at the last second. Even though technically it's _him_ who found _you_ , but hey, we angels are not that strict."  
  
Jensen and Jared stare at him, blinking.  
  
"You know this guy?" Jared whispers.  
  
"Not really," Jensen answers, also in a low voice. "He froze time for me to get my memories back and to show me that we met in a past life."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Yeah, remember the Middle Ages crap you were dreaming about? Well, turns out it was true and that I was there, too. Apparently I-"  
  
The guy forcibly clears his throat.   
  
"I'll tell you everything about it later," Jensen finishes, still whispering, before he turns towards the mysterious guy.  
  
"I'm acquiring cobwebs here," he whines. "Anyway, it's time for me to return you to your former lives, now, as promised."  
  
"Former lives?" Jensen is puzzled.  
  
"Of course," the guy starts. "You see, you two were already-" Seeing their faces, he sighs. "Oh, well, nevermind." He steps back. "I can't say it has been a pleasure, but still. It was enjoyable. If you're into this sort of thing." Glaring at them, while he's disappearing, he adds "You've already proven that you are willing to die for each other, now why don't you try to _live_ for each other for a change?"  
  
With these last words, he's gone.  
  
Jared and Jensen stare at the point where he has been standing, trying to figure out what exactly has just happened, then they simply shrug and look back at each other.  
  
Jared smiles shyly. "So...where were we?" He asks.  
Jensen beams and pulls him closer, and this time no one stops them when finally their lips collide.  
  
Honestly, I don't think they would have stopped, anyway.  
  
  
  
Clay's mother is there, in the light room, waiting for Misha to come back and relate everything to her.  
  
All she knows is that both Clay and Tom were in danger and Misha flew down to help them out.  
  
Officially, he did it to verify if the terms of the deal he had with Clay had been respected, but the woman knows Misha and under his rough exterior he was worried about her boy.  
  
"So? How did it go?" She asks, pouncing on him as soon as he appears.  
  
"Geez, Sherri, give me a moment! They're good, they're together and the sun still isn't down on Jared's- _Clay's_ 25th birthday, so all's fine."  
  
Sherri looks behind Misha. "Well, then, where are they?"  
  
Misha shrugs. "They're not here."  
  
"What?"  
  
"They're not coming, Sherri, not now. They didn't remember _any_ of this and they still have to face their past life, all that's happened to them recently _and_ make their relationship work! I didn't feel like dropping on them that they were two soulmates who met and married in Heaven in between one lifetime and the next."  
  
Sherri knows he's right, but still.  
  
She wanted to see her boy.  
  
Misha puts a hand on her shoulder. "Look, it won't be long. Fifty, sixty years tops and they'll be back; this time, when they arrive, it will be forever. No more trips to Earth. They've earned their happily ever after, and they'll get it. Eventually."  
  
Sherri nods, relieved.  
  
Misha is stealthily trying to leave when something comes to her mind. "Misha, _wait a minute._ "  
  
He curses internally.   
  
Of course she was going to find out.  
  
Damn his compassionate soul...  
  
  
  
"Sir? Sir? Oh, man."  
The guy's eyelids flutter and when he finally succeeds in opening his eyes the first thing he sees is a lithe, amazingly beautiful girl, with long brown hair framing her round face.  
  
A warm light shines in her eyes and her expression softens up when she sees he's moving.  
  
The guy stares at her and feels like he has just awakened from a very long nightmare and has been given a second chance at life.  
  
"Where-where am I?" He wonders, trying to stand up but failing to when his legs don't support him.  
  
The girl is immediately at his side, helping him to sit a little straighter. "Sir, are you alright?" She asks, offering him a small smile.  
  
The guy passes a hand through his spiky hair, confused. He doesn't remember a thing. He doesn't know how he got there, he doesn't remember what his name is but when he sees his face reflected in the girl's eyes there's only one possible answer to her question.  
  
"Now I am," he says. "Now I will be."  
  
And somehow, he knows it's true.  
  
  
  
Jared and Jensen exit the building, their fingers still intertwined.  
  
The sun has set already and the first stars are appearing in the sky.  
  
Jared is not sure where they are. When Chad called him he didn't even register his words, he simply jumped on the first taxi and shouted the address at the driver.  
  
They are not in a rush, though, not anymore, and they do have a lot to talk about, so they simply walk down the street, knowing that they'll find their way home just as they find the way to each other.  
  
 _Twice_.  
  
  
  
On the side of the road, a tree has been pruned, and its branches lay dead next to the damaged trunk.  
  
Jared smiles and walks next to the tree: it's a maple.  
  
"This is it," he says, placing his palm against the trunk, and Jensen understands.  
  
He gets closer too, placing his hand on Jared's with reverence. "You know," Jared adds, "If I had touched it- _before_ , it would have been immediately cured."  
  
Jensen sees the longing flicker in Jared's eyes for an instant, before the guy can hide it again.  
"I'm not- _magical_ anymore," he concludes, uncertainty plain in his voice.  
  
Jensen chuckles. "First you were afraid I was going to leave you because you _were_ magical, now you're afraid I might leave you because you're not? How many more times will I have to face your nemesis for you to understand that I'm not going anywhere?" Jared offers him a little smile and Jensen hugs him, pulling Jared's back against his chest. "Besides, I think our life is still going to be pretty magical," he adds, and feels Jared's body relaxing. "Let's go home."  
  
They walk away into the night, without noticing that, exactly where they had placed their hands, little white flowers shaped like stars are starting to grow...  
  
They don't notice, because this? This is another story.  
  


**EVER EVER AFTER**


	9. Soundtrack & Disclaimers

**Who said you only get one shot at true love?**

  
  
First of all, thanks to all of you for reading this.  
My summer has been so full of exeriments, and writing 6 challenge fics surely has been the toughest but also the funniest of all.  
  
I've made it through the first half of my challenge list! YAY! GO ME! This right here was my [**spn_meanttobe**](http://spn-meanttobe.livejournal.com/) fic.  
  
I got really lucky with this: as soon as I heard of the challenge, I started collecting ideas for some kind of plot, and suddenly a song came by on my mp3 player and I got struck by a plot that became something IMMENSE in no time, getting together different bunnies I had stored away and more songs, movies, musicals and so on.  
The list of disclaimers is almost as long as the fic itself XD  
  
Also, since I spent half of my time doing fanmixes for everyone, this year, I decided to make one for myself too: here it is, enjoy ^^  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
 **MIX TITLE:** Once I'll make a spell I'll haunt you  
 **MIX MADE BY:** yours truly [**trinipedia**](http://trinipedia.livejournal.com/)  
 **COVERS MADE BY:** [**burned_phoenix**](http://burned-phoenix.livejournal.com/) who has also made all the art, go check out the fantastic [**ART MASTERPOST**](http://burned-phoenix.livejournal.com/99550.html)  
  
 _Nelly Furtado  
[ **"Try"**](http://www.4shared.com/file/125005248/8d6ef5e3/01_-_Nelly_Furtado_-_Try__radio_version_.html)  
  
All I know is that everything is not as it's sold, but the more I grow, the less I know.  
I have lived so many lives, though I'm not old, and the more I see, the less I grow; the fewer the seeds, the more I sow.  
I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness and all the real people that are really not real at all; the more I learn, the more I cry, as I say goodbye to the way of life I thought I had designed for me.  
All of the moments that already passed, we'll try to go back and make them last; all of the things we want each other to be, we never will be.  
Then I see you standing there, wanting more from me, and all I can do is try; you're all I'll ever need, and we are free in our love._  
  
*****  
  
 _Lene Marlin  
[ **"Flown Away"**](http://www.4shared.com/file/125006029/bd021973/02_-_Lene_Marlin_-_Flown_Away.html)  
  
I've flown too high on borrowed wings, beyond the clouds and where the angels sings; in a sky containing no one but me, up there's all empty and down there's the sea.  
No one here but me: there's nothing but light that comes into sight.  
There's something up here that makes me wince, and I still got the feelings that I've felt ever since: I got to this place, arrived at last.  
In front there's the future right back there's the past: everything's moving so fast.  
The present like I've never seen it before: is this the right place to stay?  
Please, my wings, fly me away._  
  
*****  
  
 _Martha Davis  
[ **"We've Never Danced"**](http://www.4shared.com/file/125006619/92a23602/03_-_Martha_Davis_-_Weve_Never_Danced.html)  
  
Between heaven and earth there's a ballroom floor, where couples glide in the evermore, dancing through the clouds and laughing in the rain, with eyes that see no lines and hearts that feel no pain.  
If you don't really know where you want to go, it maks no difference which road you take.  
I hope it's not too late: we were more than friends, and I can hardly wait till we meet again, since we've never danced the night away._  
  
*****  
  
 _Hayden Panettiere  
[ **"I Still Believe"**](http://www.4shared.com/file/125007225/f8ce653/04_-_Hayden_Panettiere_-_I_Still_Believe.html)  
  
Somehow I know I will find a way to a brighter day in the sun; somewhere I know that he waits for me, someday soon he'll see I'm the one.  
I won't give up on this feeling, and nothing will keep me away.  
I know what's real cannot be denied, although it may hide for a while: with just one touch love can conquer fears, turning all your tears into smiles.  
It's such a wondrous feeling: I know that my heart can't be wrong.  
Love can make miracles, change everything: lift you from the darkness and make your heart sing.  
Love is forever, when you fall: it's the greatest power of all.  
'Cause I still believe in destiny, that you and I were meant to be: I still wish on the stars as they fall from above, 'cause I still believe in love._  
  
*****  
  
 _Air Supply  
[ **"I can't believe my eyes"**](http://www.4shared.com/file/125007673/9c911fff/05_-_Air_Supply_-_I_Cant_Believe_My_Eyes.html)  
  
I've dance alone a thousand times, to songs that no one else could even hear, and I've reached into the flame of love, I couldn't hold it and it disappeared; I've lived to learn to hate the blues, I've lived with ev'rything but you.  
I've felt the empty hands of time as they were stealin' all my life away and I've heard the silence deep inside, waiting for words that lovers could not say; you turn a little into stone with ev'ry day you live alone.  
I can't believe my eyes: I see you here, lookin' just the way you should.  
So good, it's too good to be true; I've lived my life to be lyin' here with you and still, when I see you, I can't believe my eyes._  
  
*****  
  
 _Thriving Ivory  
[ **"Angels on the moon"**](http://www.4shared.com/file/125008263/dae09634/06_-_Thriving_Ivory_-_Angels_On_The_Moon.html)  
  
Do you dream that the world will know your name?   
Then tell me your name.  
And do you care about all the little things or anything at all?  
I wanna feel all the chemicals inside; I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive.  
Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know; if I can't see the sun, maybe I should go.  
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming of angels on the moon, where everyone you know never leaves too soon.  
Do you believe in the day that you were born?  
Tell me, do you believe?  
And do you know that every day's the first of the rest of your life?  
This is to one last day in the shadows and to know a brother's love; this is to New York City angels and the rivers of our blood, to all of us.  
You can tell me all your thoughts, about the stars that fill polluted skies, and show me where you run to, when no one's left to take your side...  
But don't tell me where the road ends, cause I just don't wanna know._  
  
*****  
  
 _Pink  
[ **"Family Portrait"**](http://www.4shared.com/file/125008722/cf40a14d/07_-_Pink_-_Family_Portrait.html)  
  
Momma please stop cryin, I can't stand the sound; your pain is painful and its tearin' me down.  
I hear glasses breakin as I sit up in my bed: I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you said.  
You fight about money, bout me and my brother and this I come home to: this is my shelter.  
It ain't easy growin up in World War III, never knowin what love could be: you'll see, I don't want love to destroy me like it has done my family.  
Can we work it out?   
Can we be a family?  
I promise I'll be better: Mommy, I'll do anything, Daddy, please don't leave.  
Daddy please stop yellin, I can't stand the sound: make mama stop cryin, cuz I need you around.  
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says its true: I know that she hurts you, but remember I love you, too.  
I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away: don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have no choice, no way.  
In our family portrait we look pretty happy: let's play pretend, let's act like it comes naturally.  
I don't wanna have to split the holidays, I don't want two addresses; I don't want a step-brother anyways, and I don't want my mom to have to change her last name.  
In our family portrait we look pretty happy: we look pretty normal, let's go back to that.  
Daddy don't leave: turn around, please.  
Remember that the night you left you took my shining star?  
Daddy don't leave, don't leave us here alone: mom will be nicer, I'll be so much better.  
I'll tell my brother, I won't spill the milk at dinner, I'll do everything right: I'll be your little girl forever, I'll go to sleep at night._  
  
*****  
  
 _Taylor Swift  
[ **"Crazier"**](http://www.4shared.com/file/125009572/90fe603/08_-_Taylor_Swift_-_Crazier.html)  
  
I've never gone with the wind, just let it flow, let it take me where it wants to go, till you open the door, now there's so much more: I've never seen it before.  
I was trying to fly but I couldn't find my wings, but you came along and you changed everything.  
I watched from a distance as you made life your own; every sky was your own kind of blue, and I wanted to know how that would feel, you made it so real.  
You showed me something that I couldn't see, you opened my eyes and you made me believe; you showed me what livin' is for, and I don't wanna hide anymore.  
You lift my feet off the ground, you spin me around and make me crazier; feels like I'm falling and I am lost in your eyes._  
  
*****  
  
 _Steve Nicks  
[ **"Crystal"**](http://www.4shared.com/file/125010115/86501ac0/09_-_Stevie_Nicks_-_Crystal.html)  
  
Do you always trust your first initial feeling?  
Special knowledge holds truth bears believing.  
How the faces of love have changed turning the pages; and I have changed, but you remain, ageless.  
I turned around and the water was closing all around, like a glove, like the love that had finally, finally found me.  
Then I knew, in the crystalline knowledge of you; drove me thru the mountains, thru the crystal-like clear water fountain and then drove me like a magnet to the sea._  
  
*****  
  
 _Willa Ford  
[ **"Haunted heart"**](http://www.4shared.com/file/125010680/22b74383/10_-_Willa_Ford_-_Haunted_Heart.html)  
  
The candle, pictures of you: the things I plan to do you won't see until I'm done, my potion has just begun.  
Now you feel obsessed with me, you're wanting more, you're needing me: in sleep, you dream and think of us, and when you wake you're still in love.  
I changed your thoughts, your mind's not clear except for what I make you feel: I know my magic's taking hold, you're losing all your self control.  
Once I make a spell I'll haunt you, you're haunted, you know you are: there's no way you can get away from your haunted heart.  
My wish is your command: I've got you in the palm of my hand.  
With one touch, you're mine for good: it's working just the way I planned it would.  
I came to you in the midst last night, through the window I crept by your side; you want me, and I want you, but now I can see you cast your spell on me too.  
Once I make a spell, with one touch, you're mine for good._  
  
*****  
  
 _Same Difference  
[ **"Nothing's gonna stop us now"**](http://www.4shared.com/file/125011492/6e9aa0e5/11_-_Same_Difference_-_Nothings_Gonna_Stop_Us_Now.html)  
  
Looking in your eyes I see a paradise: this world that I've found is too good to be true.  
Standing here beside you, I want so much to give you this love in my heart that I'm feeling for you.  
Let 'em say we're crazy, I don't care about that: put your hand in my hand and your arms around me, baby, don't ever look back.  
Let the world around us just fall apart: baby, we can make it, if we're heart to heart.  
I'm so glad I found you, I'm not gonna lose you: whatever it takes, I will stay here with you.  
Take it to the good times, see it through the bad times: whatever it takes is what I'm gonna do.  
All that I'll ever need is you, and all that I want to do is hold you forever, ever and ever.  
We can build this dream together, standing strong forever: nothing's gonna stop us now, and if this world runs out of lovers, we'll still have each other._  
  
*****  
  
 _Christy Carlson Romano_  
[ **"We'll awaken"**](http://www.4shared.com/file/125011991/ff4b620c/12_-_Christy_Carlson_Romano_-_Well_Awaken.html)  
  
Here in the darkness I feel you at night, knowing that your love makes everything right: we have been waiting as time has gone by, were waiting for something held deep in the night.  
We're shining out: oh, it's meant to be, when really we should let it free?  
I will have to break through: save me, I will rescue you.  
This mystery we can't hide, I see it in your eyes: the plans we made are broken, the love we feel's unspoken, but today we'll show the world what we both know.  
Then we'll awaken, when you'll feel it in your soul: when you taste it, that's when we will reach our goal.  
All my life I've been dreaming of you, but now I'm ready.  
  
*****  
  


[ **WHOLE FANMIX DOWNLOAD LINK** ](http://www.megaupload.com/?d=8A7WBE1U)

  
  
DISCLAIMERS  
  
I took stuff from, like, EVERYWHERE.  
Here's the complete list.  
  
MOVIES  
  
NOTRE DAME DE PARIS = Chad's obsession/role and Jared/Jensen's death  
MADE IN HEAVEN = Misha and Jared's deal, J2 meeting and Heaven's memories  
PRACTICAL MAGIC = Jared's spell, Jared's reaction towards Jensen once he remembers and Jensen doing what Jared asked for during the spell  
MANNEQUIN = Jensen's kidnapping  
MANNEQUIN 2 ON THE MOVE = Country's name, Jared's previous life and Chad's character and obsession  
CINDERELLA A TWIST IN TIME = Ending with Misha wanting to return J2 to their "former lives" and them not remembering about it  
  
MANGAS  
  
VIDEO GIRL AI = The two times almost kiss and final true kiss  
I.O.N. = magical powers-ending  
  
SONGS  
  
TRY = Title and plot first part  
FLOWN AWAY = End first part  
WE'VE NEVER DANCED = Title and plot second part, feelings, Heaven and plot dance scene  
I STILL BELIEVE = Title, feelings and plot third part  
I CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES = Title and plot fourth part, feelings, memories, beginning of dance scene and Jared's personality at the beginning of fourth part  
ANGELS ON THE MOON = Recurring song  
FAMILY PORTRAIT = Jared's first dream/memory  
CRAZIER = Title fifth part and dance scene's music  
CRYSTAL = Title and plot sixth part  
HAUNTED HEART = Title and plot seventh part  
NOTHING'S GONNA STOP US NOW = Title and plot eighth part plus ending scene  
WE'LL AWAKEN = fic title, overall plot  
  
Yeah, I'm a thieving thief who thieves, so sue me. Or not, I'm poor. *puppy eyes*


End file.
